Tookie: An In A Word Children's Story

Once upon a time there was a very evil man named Tookie. Tookie lived in dark and gloomy place called South Central surrounded by other bad, bad men. Together Tookie and the other bad men created a big bully group called the Crips. The Crips were known to scare people, take their lunch money, paint words on walls and kill people.

One day Tookie was so strung out and in need of a fix, so he hoped in his "hoopty" and set out for a peddler's shop. A dark cloud appeared over Abu's Quik Mart as Tookie went inside. Tookie took all the money from the cash register, but the worst thing he did was shoot a man in back of the head with a sawed off shot gun simply because that man had a different colored skin than Tookie. And that children is called racially motivated murder.

After that night Tookie began to turn even more evil. A few days later Tookie murdered almost an entire family of immigrants that were looking for a better life in South Central. Each member of the family was unarmed and shot at point blank range. It took days for the medical examiner to place their bodies back together. Tookie was even known to laugh about the sounds the dying people would make after he shot them. Gurgle, gurgle.

If our story ended here, it would have a sad tale of woe. However, South Central had a group of heroes called police and they found Tookie and locked him away in a chamber at their castle. A great sigh was heard across the land, but our heroes would soon learn that because Tookie was so evil that the bully group he founded still continued to kill people while he was locked up in the castle.

And while the police battled with the Crips and new threat began to emerge in the distance. Over the horizon came an invading group of liberals. They descended on South Central and called Tookie a great man and asked the heroes to spare him from his sentence of death. Soon people began to nominate Tookie for the highest peaceful award known to mankind called the Noble. Entertainers and jesters from all over the world came to the defense of Tookie and demanded something called clemency. Although Tookie granted no clemency to his victims, the liberals believed Tookie was entitled to forgiveness.

Unfortunately, our tale doesn't have an ending yet. However, the moral to story is this: if you kill four people in cold blood and create a gang that to this day continues to kill hundreds more people make sure you write a few children's book because they make a great sympathetic case to the liberals that your life should be spared.