Tuesday, February 27, 2007

A Convenient Hypocrisy

Let just say right up front that the following disclosure on Al Gore's energy consumption does not surprise me, in fact I anyone who knows me can attest that I've claiming this for years...politicians and celebrities can talk the talk, but they can not walk the walk.

Al Gore's 'Inconvenient Truth'? -- $30,000 utility bill

Armed with Gore's utility bills for the last two years, the Tennessee Center for Policy Research charged Monday that the gas and electric bills for the former vice president's 20-room home and pool house devoured nearly 221,000 kilowatt-hours in 2006, more than 20 times the national average of 10,656 kilowatt-hours.
The Center claims that Nashville Electric Services records show the Gores in 2006 averaged a monthly electricity bill of $1,359 for using 18,414 kilowatt-hours, and $1,461 per month for using 16,200 kilowatt-hours in 2005. During that time, Nashville Gas Company billed the family an average of $536 a month for the main house and $544 for the pool house in 2006, and $640 for the main house and $525 for the pool house in 2005. That averages out to be $29,268 in gas and electric bills for the Gores in 2006, $31,512 in 2005.
And spare me the liberal spin on this one. How can you take anything Gore says serious after that report? O.K. granted we didn't take him serious before either, but you get my drift. I looked in up, it will take my family of four over 4 years [FOUR FRIGGIN' YEARS] to reach the energy consumption that Al Gore and his wife Tipper used in just one month [October, 2006]. But it only begins there. My car? A PT Cruiser that I only average about 9,000 miles a year at 32 miles per gallon in gas. I don't fly in a private jet and I don't have limo. I also don't have elaborate dinner parties with enough food to feed an African country. In fact, compared to Al Gore's worldly consumption my 'carbon footprint' on this earth is a speck to Gore's mountain.

Just out of curiosity I calculated my 'carbon footprint.' The results? My footprint is half of the average. The best part? I don't even try to conserve energy or care for the environment. Oh, bleepin' irony. The evil conservative blogger is doing more to help the world than the so-called Oscar winning environmentalist, Al Gore.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Hanoi Jane [as brought to you by the Des Moines Register]

***Must try to repress gaggle reflex; deep breaths to control blood pressure:

[Jane] Fonda will bring a heightened sense of urgency about life to Des Moines tonight to kick off The Des Moines Register's 2007 Smart Talk Women's Lecture Series.

'Heightened' like sitting on an anti-aircraft gun in North Vietnam?

And Smart Talk? From Fonda? I can only guess if the Ragister did a Smart Talk Men's Lecture Series it would include John Kerry?

I am sorry but this bitch can go straight to hell as far as I am concerned. Some acts are not forgivable, at least not by me...and treason is one of them. Fonda can apologize all she wants, but unfortunately there are about 58,000 men who will never hear her shallow attempt at career saving "I'm sorry."

Fuck that. And fuck the Register.


Yeah...just a way of life these days.

And The Blue Balls Award Goes To...

107 year old, Chan Chi
A 107-year-old Hong Kong villager, who still enjoys an occasional smoke, has attributed his longevity in part to decades of sexual abstinence, a newspaper said on Sunday.

"I don't know why I have lived this long," Chan Chi -- one of Hong Kong's oldest people -- was quoted as saying in the South China Morning Post during an annual feast for the city's elders.

"Maybe it has to do with the fact that I have lived a sex-less life for many years -- since I was 30," said Chan, a widower whose youthful bride perished during the Japanese invasion in World War Two.
Not worth it...not...NOT worth it.

However it appears a drag of nicotine is much harder for Chan Chi to resist than the warm embrace of a women:
But the centenarian, who's had no difficulty living a monastic existence for nearly 80 years, admits the pleasures of tobacco have been harder to resist.

"Now I want to quit," he was quoted as saying of his decades-long cigarette addiction. "Maybe the government should ban cigarette sales so I can give it up," he added.
You just knew he had to be a liberal...alive for 107 years and he still believes the government is the one who should solve his addictions.

Oscar Car Wreck

I've had it with the political posturing, the behind-the-scenes games, and snide veiled attacks on the Bush administration during Hollywood award shows. The Oscars proved to me once again last night what a sham they really are...

Happy Feet beat Cars for best full length animated feature? Are you kidding me? What the hell is wrong Hollyweird? Lighting McQueen is the man...er...car. Not since Out Of Africa beat The Color Purple have the Oscars completely botched the winner.

Clearly the academy was trying to send a message to the White House that movies glorifying the wanton proliferation of global warming by portraying automobiles in a positive light will away lose to sappy, soulless penguins...no matter how stupid, dumb and boring those said penguins happen to be.

Impeachment Off The Table For Clinton Unless, Of Course, It Refers To Bush

Hillary Clinton proclaimed discussions about her husband's impeachment hearing officially 'off limits' during the campaign:
"In the end, voters will decide what's off-limits, but I can't imagine that the public will reward the politics of personal destruction," senior Clinton adviser Howard Wolfson said Friday, when asked whether the impeachment is fair game for Clinton's opponents.
When it comes to 'personal destruction' that's a job the Clintons would like retain for themselves.
Apparently it is fine to have Bill campaign for her, but American public is only to focus on all the great things he did. All three of those things. The Clinton campaign also reminds opponents and the press that the following items are also off limits: commenting on Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinski, Kathleen Willey, Troopergate, Vince Foster, Waterwater, 11 hour pardons, not capturing Bin Laden, and perjury.

In related news, Senator Kennedy announced the death of Mary Jo Kopechne 'off limits,' Sen. Byrd announced his involvement in the Klu Klux Klan 'off limits,' Rep. William Jefferson said there will be no further comment on bundles of cash stashed in the freezer, and Sen. Barack Obama said inquires into his complete lack of experience for the Presidency is absolutely off the table...

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Iowa Needs Another Bike Trail, Like The Register Needs Another Liberal Editor

Because no budget is ever big enough, the Des Moines Register editorial staff is advocating for increased spending for bike trails. Put simply...it's friggin' Iowa. Step outside and take a look around...what do you see? Snow? Is it cold? Damn cold? How many months could they be used anyway? Iowa already has bike trails and for its' size, I would say Iowa has plenty.

However the Register thinks otherwise. But hey, last time I checked the Register had a little bicycling event called RAGBRAI, so their stance doesn't exactly surprise me. In fact, RAGBRAI is one of the reasons I am so against further tax payer bike trails. People from all over the nation come to ride on RAGBRAI and the Iowa tourism department would be kidding itself if it believes people are going to come to Iowa multiple times outside of RAGBRAI just to ride a damn bike and look at the cows.
This state ranks an embarrassing 48th in the country for recreational spending and 49th in percentage of land set aside for public use.

Missouri, for example, dedicates a small portion of sales tax to conservation and raised $168 million in fiscal year 2004. The proposal includes results of a survey that found 77 percent of Iowans support dedicating additional dollars to "protect Iowa's land, water and wildlife."

The advisory committee estimates it will take "an additional sustainable total of $150 million per year" to meet the needs of Iowa's natural resources.
I don't know about you, but when I read that Iowa ranks "49th in percentage of land set aside for public use" it brings a smile to my face. So most of the land in Iowa is privately owned? And this is a bad thing? Well it is if you work for the Register, but for those of us actually living in the real world it's a good thing.

And comparing Iowa to Missouri. Earth to the Register: Iowa is a farming state. Period. We have no mountains, few real lakes, or other natural wonders for that matter. We have fertile soil that makes for great farm land. If this is unacceptable to the Register staff may I suggest a one-way bus pass to a more majestic state.

First Gov. Culver proposes increasing the state's budget by 9% and now the Register thinks we should bleed even more tax dollars for more bike trails. It's your money people...this kind of wasteful spending should piss you off...

Recapping The Most Memorable Moment From The Failed Vilsack Presidential Campaign

5. Bought a Mr. Coffee for his Des Moines campaign office; splurged for the 10 cup thermal programmable model.
4. Got the coveted Elmer Buford endorsement and all the political capital the mayor of Deloit, IA [pop. 240] brings with it.
3. Got to meet Jim Carrey during his Tonight Show with Jay Leno visit; thanked Carrey for making his favorite movie: Ace Ventura II: When Nature Calls.
2. Raised $4.26 during a "Pickle with a Politician" fund raiser sponsored by Vlasic International Foods.
1. Upon dropping out, now gets to call himself a "former Presidential candidate."

Friday, February 23, 2007


So I haven't been updating CBB very much lately, does that mean there aren't liberals doing stupid things? Absolutely not! It just means I've been very busy. As a rule the blog doesn't rank high on my things of "must do," it is, however, something I like to do. My life priorities list goes something like this: family, business, family again, business [unfortunately again], video games, ISU sports [if applicable], rooting against Steve Alford's Hawkeyes [I root for the Hawkeyes in football, except against the Clones...God how I do hate Alford though], watching Humphrey Bogart movies, watching mindless action movies with big explosions in surround sound, and then if there is time blogging.

Lately with the time I usually use to blog has been filled with pursuing new business ventures. Recently I was contacted about by a fellow franchisee about purchasing some of his stores. We could never come to an agreement, but another opportunity presented itself and I have been following that lead for the last week or so. I generally do not talk about my business on this blog, but the reasons why I wish to expand are somewhat political, so I thought I would write a quick post to explain.

Until last fall I had always enjoyed politics from afar. Having a blog with a few readers trashing something I had no control over was an interesting diversion. However with the Democrats being swept into power, I learned a hard lesson. I had always felt that local politics affected more than national politics [i.e. property taxes]. What I learned from Chet Culver and Nancy Pelosi is that the government can do more damage to my business than my competitors could ever hope to.

About a month ago I was contacted about new franchising opportunities within my company being offered to those franchisees with an excellent record. The initial capital outlay is dramatically less than the store I have now, plus there are no tipped employees so no one will be making near minimum wage. In light of the Democrats enacting policies that only affect 6% of the population, this seems like a good business venture to me. My cynical side however points out that while I will be paying most of the crew well above minimum wage, the new store will not have anyone make the $15 -$20 an hour that my original store has. I am not sure this is type of development the liberals had in mind, but it is reality. Instead of creating jobs that potentially pay more, I am looking to create jobs that will only be $3-$5 more than minimum wage. Clearly everyone loses.

But screw it. I have and will give more than most when the Democrat's policies take place, so fuck it I will be looking out for me. Everyone else in the world is looking out for number one, I guess it's about time I jumped on the bandwagon. I've spent the last 7 years trying to run a business with a community and employee centered approach, with the hope of paying myself more when the debt is paid off. I have little to no health care so I can pay my assistants more than I can really afford. However this approach has come to bite me in the ass last November. So yeah...I am bitter.

Real fucking bitter.

So, here I am venturing out looking to do something similar but yet very different in the hopes of Democrat-proofing my business. I futile attempt I am sure, but I cant' wait around for the liberals to completely put me out of business. I intend to go down swinging...it is, after all, my livelihood and livelihood of my family. Diversify or die...

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Sweetness On The Court

Iowa State basketball great, Barry Stevens, died Wednesday at his home in Indiana. Along with Ron Harris and coach Johnny Orr, Stevens help ISU go from a perennial loser to a regular NCAA tournament contender. Stevens was my first favorite Cyclone player. The flashy dunks and the silky smooth stroke from deep in the corner...Stevens was a fast streaking ESPN highlight film.

Although replaced by Jeff Grayer as ISU's all time leading scorer, his impact on Cyclone basketball will never be forgotten.

From the Des Moines Register:

Stevens helped usher Iowa State's program to national prominence. He scored 2,190 points, surpassed later by only Jeff Grayer, and led the 1984-85 team to the NCAA Tournament - the program's first trip since 1944.

Stevens was honored with a moment of silence before Wednesday night's game against Colorado at Hilton Coliseum.

Former Cyclone star Fred Hoiberg, now an assistant general manager for the NBA's Minnesota Timberwolves, worked as a Cyclone ball boy during part of Stevens' heyday.

"I always wanted to be a player like him," Hoiberg said Wednesday. "It's a very sad day for anyone associated with Iowa State basketball."

Stevens was a captain in 1984-85 when Iowa State turned the corner, reaching the NCAA Tournament and finishing 21-13. He averaged 21.7 points per game as a senior after scoring at a 22.2-point clip as a junior.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Glass Houses

By John Cougar Mellencamp
There's a simple man with no common sense,
Livin' in his own padded, plush, little world,
Shoulda negotiated with Osama, even with 3,000 dead,
Thinks because he's a celebrity his voice should be heard.
So far gone, believes after Pearl Harbor we shouldn't have attacked Japan,
America says to him: 'hey John, just stick to singing about Jack and Diane.'

Oh but ain't that a Liberal for you and me
Ain't that a Liberal something to see,
Ain't that a Liberal, cryin' like a baby
Little glass houses for you and me

Apparently the John missed the little ditty and the changes that come around were he was suppose to become a man...truly an "American Fool."

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Moby Dick: What if Ahab Had Dynomite?

Ah...nothing like an early morning stroll through the rain of a falling whale carcass...

Hillary Is Running Everything Up The Flag Pole Just To See Who Salutes

Apparently an illegitimate war is the perfect segue for a political speech about removing the confederate flag from South Carolina's Capitol grounds:
ORANGEBURG, S.C. (AP) -- Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton said Monday that South Carolina should remove the Confederate flag from its Statehouse grounds, in part because the nation should unite under one banner while at war.

"I think about how many South Carolinians have served in our military and who are serving today under our flag and I believe that we should have one flag that we all pay honor to, as I know that most people in South Carolina do every single day," Clinton told The Associated Press in an interview.
The only thing I question is why bring up the war at all? There are hundreds of great reasons why South Carolina shouldn't fly the confederate flag and all that it obviously stands for, but our country being at war isn't one of them. Don't get me wrong, it's a decent reason but certainly not one I would campaign on. The first few things that pop in my head when I see the rebel flag: racism, slavery, and bigotry [or on the lighter side - The Dukes of Hazzard]. To Hillary it's about fighting under the same banner because we are at war. I am not sure if Hillary understands this or not, but other than a bunch of backwater hicks with their rebel flags and 'Git R Done' bumper stickers the rest of the nation is united under the beauty of Old Glory.

Democrats spend worthless hours criticizing the troops' war effort in Iraq, but somehow Hillary is rallying to their aid because of an archaic, vile piece of cloth? And to be clear, I agree with Hillary the flag needs to leave the statehouse lawn I just not following her line of thinking.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Culture Of Corruption

From the conservative bastion that is the Washington Post [think the paper version of Fox News]:
Rep. William Jefferson, the Louisiana Democrat who's facing an ongoing federal corruption probe, is being granted a spot on the Homeland Security Committee, according to Democratic aides.
Why is this guy not in jail? Oh right...the Democrats were too focused on getting back in power. My bad..

Every time I hear a liberal start talking about Mark Foley or Jack Abramoff all I hear is "William Jefferson, William Jefferson, William Jefferson."

Your Morning Wake Up Call

As I find these videos and links I will throw them up here on CBB.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but with people like NoNeed4thNeed over at the No Common Sense Iowan constantly speaking for our troops I thought actually hearing from the troops themselves would be appropriate.

Liberals have every right to oppose the war, but don't you are 'supporting the troops' or that the troops aren't bothered by your rhetoric. As with most issues, the Democrats can't the truth that is right before their eyes...

1st SGT. Louis Barnum [a born and raised Democrat] and SGT. Brian Orzedhowski [treason]

Write off the my hate filled rants here on the Corn Beltway Boys if you will, but how the troops feel is indisputable.

When was the last time you saw a video of a soldier saying: 'I really appreciate the worthless, toothless resolutions that congress have passed. I mean I hate George Bush just like the next patriotic American and I want those back home to know how much we enjoy hearing them bad month the work we are doing in Iraq...?"

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Today's Weather: Look For Heavy Amounts Of Irony Followed By A Warmed Trend Caused By Al Gore's Jetstream

The headline of the day:


The Subcommittee on Energy and Air Quality hearing scheduled for Wednesday, February 14, 2007, at 10:00 a.m. in room 2123 Rayburn House Office Building has been postponed due to inclement weather. The hearing is entitled “Climate Change: Are Greenhouse Gas Emissions from Human Activities Contributing to a Warming of the Planet?”

The hearing will be rescheduled to a date and time to be announced later.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007


This is what happens when your rhetoric gets too far ahead of your brain...
During his first press conference as a presidential candidate at Iowa State University, Obama, discussing his opposition to the Iraq war, said the war "should have never been authorized, and should have never been waged, and on which we've now spent $400 billion, and have seen over 3,000 lives of the bravest young Americans wasted.''
Those first press conferences as a presidential candidate are always the hardest...

You have to wonder when politicians get caught fumbling while talking off the cuff, it's a mistake or the brief glimpse of the truth?

What American Wants

Stupid quote:
"What the American people want to know is: Does their member of Congress support the president's proposed escalation or do they not?" said House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer.
Really is that what the American people want? After the hundreds of millions of dollars that were spent during the 2006 November mid term elections, do the American people really need any further proof as to where their congressperson stands? According to the press and the Democrats themselves I thought the 2006 election results were suppose to be a rebuke of the President's handling of the war?

Apparently this isn't enough for the Democrats, they need a non-binding resolution that does nothing to help the troops but gives them leverage during the 2008 elections if the war continues to go badly. I know I've said this a hundred time on the blog, but which is worse: going to war with bad intelligence or playing politics with our troops' lives?

You know what the American people want? For the fucking Democrats to rejoin the political political process and start supplying a few solutions. America's binding resolution to the Democrats: "We get it, you know how to bitch, do you know any other tricks?"

Monday, February 12, 2007

Wide Open Spaces

A Dixie Chicks album or the area between Natalie Maines' ears?

The Dixie Chicks won 5 Grammys during last night's award ceremony, but from the media attention you would have thought they were marching on Washington or sitting in the whites only section of a Montgomery bus. Even the Dixie Chicks themselves, or more directly singer Natalie Maines, believed the awards create some sort of vindication for all the backlash the Dixie Chicks received after Maines took a political shot at George W. Bush during 2003 concert in London: "Just so you know, we're ashamed the President of the United States is from Texas."

"I think people are using their freedom of speech tonight with all of these awards," Maines said during an acceptance speech last night.

Considering we are talking about liberal celebrities, I have no doubt a few of the ballots casted for the Dixie Chicks were politically motivated. However I question the meaning. The Dixie Chicks winning a few Grammys isn't about freedom of speech and to suggest such a thing is an insult the freedom itself. Freedom of speech was Maines stating her opinion of President Bush. She is entitled to her opinions, but she is also responsible for the fallout the come from her words.

Just because fans and radio stations abandoned the Dixie Chick's music because they disagreed with Maines' politics has absolutely nothing to do with freedom of speech. However, that fact that Maines and her band mates created another album filled with raw emotions concerning the Bush fiasco [or emotions as transcribed by their team of song writers] is freedom of speech.

When it comes down to it, the Dixie Chicks peddle a product and while it may be considered "art" they got a free lesson in how capitalism works. No one has to buy their albums, nor does anyone have to attend their concerts. Dixie Chicks can say whatever they want, but no one has to listen.

Go cry in someone else's beer...

Maybe The Egyptians Practiced Making Pyramids By Washing The Dishes...

A few days ago Jaques and I went around about reciting the Pledge of Alliance in the public schools. His stance was it's like Stalin and totalitarianism and I claimed it was 20 seconds and nothing worth arguing about. Part of my position was realizing how much crap the public schools actually teach our children, so a 20 second pledge just doesn't get me worked up.

As evidence to my opinion may I present Speed Stacks. Last week my son came home from school all excited about make pyramids with plastic cups and then taking them down. The faster the better. This was part of his gym class. Is this how fat our country has gotten? Now stacking a bunch of cups with holes in the bottom constitutes physical activity?

I realize there is a place for this type of competition, but I question whether that place is gym class. Here is the current world record holder in speed stacking, Emily Fox. While I am not sure there's a practical application to quickly stacking cups, but I bet she can unload the dishwasher like nobody's business.

Promises You Don't Intend To Keep

It appears Barack Obama has the first requirement of running for President down...lying.

Silly indeed...

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Hatred With A Crutch

The beauty of this country is that you can completely dislike everything about it, but still enjoy all the rights bestowed by being a American. However my problem with hatred is when you prop it up with false reasons or ancient issues. Consider this post:

Why I Hate America

"Why do you hate America?" This is a remarkably easy question to provoke. One might, for instance, expose elements of this nation's brutal foreign policy. Ask a single probing question about, say, U.S. complicity in the overthrow of governments in Guatemala, Iran, or Chile and thin-skinned patriots (sic) will come out of the woodwork to defend their country's honor by accusing you of being "anti-American."

When pressed, I sometimes reply: "I don't hate America. In fact, think it's one of the best countries anyone ever stole." But, after the laughter dies down, I have a confession to make: If by "America" they mean the elected/appointed officials and the corporations that own them, well, I guess I do hate that America-with justification.

Among many reasons, I hate America for the near-extermination and subsequent oppression of its indigenous population. I hate it for its role in the African slave trade and for dropping atomic bombs on civilians. I hate its control of institutions like the United Nations, World Bank, International Monetary Fund, and World Trade Organization. I hate it for propping up brutal dictators like Suharto, Pinochet, Duvalier, Hussein, Marcos, and the Shah of Iran. I hate America for its unconditional support for Israel. I hate its bogus two-party system, its one-size-fits-all culture, and its income gap. I could go on for pages but I'll sum up with this: I hate America for being a hypocritical white supremacist capitalist patriarchy.

After a paragraph like that, you know what comes next: If you hate America so much, why don't you leave? Leave America? That would potentially put me on the other end of U.S. foreign policy. No thanks.

I like how Paul Robeson answered that question before the House Un-American Activities Committee in 1956: "My father was a slave and my people died to build this country, and I'm going to stay right here and have a part of it, just like you. And no fascist-minded people like you will drive me from it. Is that clear?"

Since none of my people died to build anything, I rely instead on William Blum, who declares, "I'm committed to fighting U.S. foreign policy, the greatest threat to peace and happiness in the world, and being in the United States is the best place for carrying out the battle. This is the belly of the beast, and I try to be an ulcer inside of it."
Hating America because it was stolen from the Indians or because our forefathers practiced slavery? Valid reasons to be sure, but without firing up the Wayback Machine those issues will never disappear. Time to more on. Learn from the past sure, but hating America for if? Get over yourself.

And to be clear the battle to change America isn't being waged in the blogosphere. The Daily Kos and other liberal blogs are not solving anything, in fact they're probably making the problems worse. I have no illusions to what we are doing with the Corn Beltway Boys. We entertain and nothing else. I hope we spark conservation, but in the end CBB will not win 'the battle' from inside America nor will any blog.

From The Center For The Blatantly Obvious

Obvious that is for anyone who owns a business...

New wage boost puts squeeze on teenage workers across Arizona

Employers are cutting back hours, laying off young staffers

The Employment Policies Institute in Washington, which opposed the recent increases, cited 2003 data by Federal Reserve economists showing a 10 percent increase caused a 2 percent to 3 percent decrease in employment.
Teens are the first to go, but they won't be the last...

Will Someone Please Tell The Democrats That Life Isn't Fair?

Fairness is all about perspective. What's fair to you, will not necessarily be fair to me. I run a successful small business in Waukee, while other small businesses have failed. Is that fair? While I am successful, there are other franchisees within my system that make 10 times the money I do. Is that fair? You work hard and have a job, but other people are unemployed. Is that fair?

Life isn't fair. Period. Learn it, cry a few tears if you must, but get over it.

No amount of government involvement is going to make life fair. However, the brain trust of Gov. Chet and the Dumbocratic Iowa legislature are proposing a "fair share fee." Union members pay union fees and while non-union members do not because they are NOT members. As the decision to join the union is a choice, it makes sense that the fees associated with it should also be a choice. But if the Democrats have taught us anything in the last few years, it's that only one issue [abortion] is about choice and all other decisions should be government mandated.

There argument from the left via the marionette strings being pulling by the union leaders is that unions must, by law, negotiate for both union and non-union employees. While that might be unfair, the answer to eliminating that inequality isn't creating more unfair laws. For decades now unions have been hurting their own members, I guess they feel it's time to screw the entire workforce.

Blame Bush and the Republican for the exodus of jobs from this country if you must, but realize union do more drive business abroad then any legislation that has been passed in the last 14 years.

This is my favorite argument in favor of a the proposed "fair share" bill is this little nugget:
"National economic development consultants consistently state that the lack of right-to-work laws is often a deal breaker ... for many companies looking to invest in new or expanded operations," reads a research paper prepared for the Iowa Chamber Alliance, a group of chambers of commerce and similar groups.
Uh...riiiight. Business looking to move to Iowa feel it's a 'deal breaker' because they are not forced to require all their employees to pay union dues? Why am I skeptical? Could it be that businesses as a general rule hate working with unions?

Lets review the first month of local and national Democratic control: a minimum wage increase for a whopping 6% of the population, a resolution condemning the President's troop increase in Iraq, and locally a bill requiring all workers to pay union dues. After 14 years of being the minority party and this is all the Democrats have got?

Un-fuckin' real...

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Reading Between The Lies Pt. II

We went to war on faulty evidence. Bush bought into and the Democrats [whether they admit it or not] also bought into it. However the Holy Grail for the liberals is if they can prove the Bush administration knew the intelligence was wrong while they were selling it to the public. So far all those roads have met with dead ends. That was until yesterday when the Washington Post ran a story about the Pentagon office of former undersecretary of defense Douglas J. Feith's assessment and reports that the pre-war intelligence was flawed.

Pretty damning evidence huh?

There was unfortunately one teensy, wheensy little problem with the whole article and sources it was based on...instead of the being Feith's office's assessment of the intelligence it was anti-war Democrat Sen. Carl Levin's assessment and quotes.

Correction to This Article
A Feb. 9 front-page article about the Pentagon inspector general's report regarding the office of former undersecretary of defense Douglas J. Feith incorrectly attributed quotations to that report. References to Feith's office producing "reporting of dubious quality or reliability" and that the office "was predisposed to finding a significant relationship between Iraq and al Qaeda" were from a report issued by Sen. Carl Levin (D-Mich.) in Oct. 2004. Similarly, the quotes stating that Feith's office drew on "both reliable and unreliable reporting" to produce a link between al-Qaeda and Iraq "that was much stronger than that assessed by the IC [Intelligence Community] and more in accord with the policy views of senior officials in the Administration" were also from Levin's report. The article also stated that the intelligence provided by Feith's office supported the political views of senior administration officials, a conclusion that the inspector general's report did not draw.The two reports employ similar language to characterize the activities of Feith's office: Levin's report refers to an "alternative intelligence assessment process" developed in that office, while the inspector general's report states that the office "developed, produced, and then disseminated alternative intelligence assessments on the Iraq and al Qaida relationship, which included some conclusions that were inconsistent with the consensus of the Intelligence Community, to senior decision-makers." The inspector general's report further states that Feith's briefing to the White House in 2002 "undercuts the Intelligence Community" and "did draw conclusions that were not fully supported by the available intelligence."

You know what this means Jaques? All the fake, satire posts we have done over the last four months are now legitimate news articles now.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Clinton Calls For National Day Of Mourning After Anna Nicole Smith's Death

New York [CBB] - Former President Clinton is calling on President Bush to issue a national day of mourning follow the death of Anna Nicole Smith. Clinton called Smith 'a hero to millions of worthless pieces of shit across America.'

"Forget all the negatives like drug addiction, failed reality shows, Lewinsky-ing a walking corpse for inheritance money; Anna Nicole was the very embodiment of a Democrat. She gave hope to those citizens that are trying so hard to make ends meet while sucking off the system waiting for an insanely rich man to walk so they can sleep with him," Clinton eulogized during an interview with NBC's The Today Show, "accomplishing nothing in your life, being a complete failure but getting paid for it...dare I say...is the new American dream."

There was no immediate comment from the White House concerning former President Clinton's request, but White House spokesman Tony Show did alluded to it by saying 'President Bush was currently reviewing Smith's history of periodical work and would have a decision after he's had some alone time to mull the situation over.'

Clinton concluded his NBC interview by saying 'Anna Nicole's fond images, and the fantasies from them, have been what has kept my marriage with Hillary strong all these years."

Reprinted for the Corn Beltway Boys

In Memory Of Anna Nicole Smith

Today is going to be hard. A long, arduous 24 hours that will contain constant grief and sorrow. The minutes will crawl by as I contemplate the meaning of life. Anna Nicole Smith as passed on. Tears fall even as I write this. Why must the fates be so cruel? Why...?

Who will the trailer trash of America idolize now? A decent and upstanding women ripped for us in the prime of her life.

In honor of Anna Nicole's life, I have dedicated this day to her. I will be calling in sick to work, popping pills like Tic Tacs, and trolling the nursing homes looking for a little sugar momma action.

Heaven has one more angel today...

Anna Nicole Smith 1967-2007

Reading Between The Lies

AP headline: Texas Man Gets Death for Killing Fetus
Adrian Estrada, 23, was convicted Friday of one count of capital murder for the death of Stephanie Sanchez and the fetus, of which he was the father.
Of course, it could be argued that also killing the teenager mother of the fetus might have played a role in Estrada receiving the death penalty.

Just throwin' that out there...

Thursday, February 08, 2007

CBB's Liberal To Conservative Translator

Ever been talking with a liberal and wonder if they are speaking a different language? Perplexed by the political correctness movement and terms? Well the Corn Beltway Boys are here to help. I am happy to introduce our Liberal To Conservative Translator [TM] - infrequent posts** to help you understand what the left is saying even if they don't understand it themselves. [**Please note 'infrequent' means not very often, but more than never]

Liberal Word:
Global Warming - A gradual warming of the Earth's atmosphere reportedly caused by the burning of fossil fuels and industrial pollutants.

Conservative Word for Global Warming:
The Weather - the state of the atmosphere with respect to wind, temperature, cloudiness, moisture, pressure, etc.

Reprinted from the Corn Beltway Boys

Iowan's Support Bringing Back The Death Penalty, If For No Other Reason Than To Shut Up Inmates

From the Des Moines Register:
The Iowa State Penitentiary has abolished an "honor" program for convicts serving life sentences, sparking an uproar in which 40 inmates have filed grievances in protest.

The "honor lifer" program had existed in the Fort Madison prison's maximum-security unit since 1975. The program had granted extra privileges to 44 inmates in Cellhouse 318 who had records of hard work and good conduct. The inmates all had been convicted of crimes that include murder, rape and kidnapping.

Warden John Ault scrapped the program last month after two recent incidents in which some inmates housed in the honor lifer unit tested positive for illegal drugs, said Fred Scaletta, a spokesman for the Iowa Department of Corrections.

Ault replaced the honor lifer program with a new system that rewards good behavior, said prison spokesman Ron Welder. But some privileges previously available to honor lifers have been eliminated, he added. These include an annual banquet with visitors that was paid for by inmates; semi-private visits with friends and family in a windowed office; letting inmates choose the paint color in their cell; and permitting leathercraft tools and sports gear in cells.
Filed grievances? Give me a break. The way I look at it they didn't take away all the inmates perks...they are, of course, still alive.

If You Aren't With Harry Reid, Then You're Lying

This clip is John McCain making the case on the Senate floor that you can't say the war effort is going badly and that it will ultimately fail, but still honestly say you support the troops. McCain has real men and women who will support this claim [here is just one video to that fact and for more proof read the hundreds of military blogs that are out there].

The follow up to McCain by Harry Reid is money shot...he claims those talking to McCain are obviously lying. Whereas the undisclosed sources that supposedly talk with Reid are more open with him because he's not running for President and he's not in the military. Typical Democratic jump of logic...

Despite what John Kerry thinks, those in the military are actually pretty smart. They know if given the chance and if most of America didn't hate him, Reid would run for President too. But I digress:

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Senate Calls For Terror Alert Overhaul

New York [CBB] - It is being reported that New York Senator, Charles Schumer [D], is calling for a complete overhaul of the Department of Homeland Security's color coded Terror Alert system. Citing a desire to be more inclusive and less harsh, Schumer is advocating for entire "rainbow" of colors and "softer hues."

"When I first saw the Terror Alert scale back in 2001, I remember thinking 'where are the colors indigo and violet?'" Schumer said during a Wednesday morning press conference, "unfortunately this is the type of pigment elitist, segregation that we have come to expect for the Bush administration."

Schumer went on to detail his plan to soften what he considers the harsh hues found in the Terror Alert system. Considering that the system was created shortly after the 9/11 attacks, Schumer claims that the color red, meaning the terrorist threat level is severe, was clearly meant as an insult to the Muslim world. And in a rare move for a Democrat, Schumer even offered a solution which calls for adding a little white in an attempt to mute the bold nature of the red color. Schumer called his plan "simple to implement and something occurs everyday across this great nation in elementary school art classes."

"It all comes downs to feelings. By having pink as our top terror alert level will show the world that the US will no longer be the international color bully of the world," Schumer concluded, "I would just hate to think, if we did nothing and kept our current system, that we might offend an Arab terrorist with our red color code right before he slams a plane into the Sears Tower. Frankly, I just couldn't live with that on my conscious."

Sunday, February 04, 2007

A Fate Worse Than Death

This picture has been floating around the liberal blogosphere for awhile now. Am I missing the point? Is the irony intentional? Is debt really worse than life?

Government Declares Open Season For Wasteful Spending

The age of free love for deer may just be an inoculation or two away. The National Wildlife Research Center has developed a new drug that would sterilize the deer population and prevent breading for two whole years. What's even better is that it only costs an estimated $300 -$1000 per buck or doe.

I know what you are thinking..."Jeremie, won't this just make the deer population more promiscuous and a cause a steep rise in sexually transmitted diseases due to unprotected sex?" Yes, but it saves a bullet through their skulls and really isn't that more important wasting the tax payer's money?

I have one simple question: who was the bleeding heart, tree hugger that came up with this idea? Rather than increase revenues and expanded hunting licenses, lets spend money in a failed attempt to artificially control the deer population.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Syndicated Columist, Molly Ivins, Dead At Age 62

AUSTIN, TX [CBB]- Author and liberal columnist Molly Ivins died of cancer on Wednesday after a long fight with cancer. She revealed in 2006 that she had been diagnosed with quick spreading untreatable type of cancer known as acute liberalphoma.

"Mrs. Ivins lived a hard life bashing conservatives in her daily syndicated columns, so unfortunately this her diagnosis wasn't a matter of 'if' but rather 'when,'" Dr. Thomas Butters Chief Physician at the University of Texas medical center where Ivins died. "When we first discovered Molly had liberalphoma the growth was relatively small considering her history of viciously attacking Republicans starting all the way back with Nixon during Watergate. We advised she rethink future printings of her "Bushwhacked" novel criticizing President Bush, but she wouldn't hear of it. It was almost like she had a death wish."

Liberalphoma, so named because of its' irrational growth rate and side effects that include abnormal bleeding of the heart, has become one of the fastest growing cancers in America.

"Ever since no WMDs were found in Iraq, the rate of liberalphoma has quadrupled," Stacey Berry, President of the American Cancer Society said, "we are predicting by the end of the Bush administration liberalphoma will pass prostrate and breast cancer as the leading cause of death in the United States."

The American Cancer Society is urging the public to start taking preventative measures in an attempt to curb the rising liberalphoma death rates. As with most cancers, avoiding carcinogens is the key. ACS is asking that people steer clear from such things as Molly Ivin's books "Bushwhacked" and "Shrub: The Short but Happy Political Life of George W. Bush" as well as anti-war rallies, Air America, the mainstream press and any movie staring Alec Baldwin.

Reprinted for The Corn Beltway Boys