Saturday, December 31, 2005

Don't Tread On Me

Using the United State's Constitution as a political soapbox has officially became tiresome. Yesterday, the Des Moines Register editorial staff [read: extremely liberal] wrote an opinion piece about the TSA's wiretapping and whether or not they are Constitutional.

Why is it that every time some organization or politician has a problem with their opponent's position on some issue, they have to start throwing around the Constitution? I mean, when did the Des Moines Register become such a defender of the Constitution? They hardly have problem with abortion, which they and most of their columnists support, yet you won't find a single word concerning women's reproductive rights in the Constitution [you can check my link on the right hand side of the blog if you don't believe me]. The Register has droned on for weeks now about the fundamental right of Americans to be granted health care. Of course, I need not point out the founding fathers made no mention of socialized medical care.

It is the selective use of the Constitution that bugs me. Whenever the Constitution contradicts your viewpoint, you merely trot out the tried and true response of: "well, the Constitution is a living document and is left up to interpretation by the founding fathers to be able to address issues unforeseen in their time."

Isn't that the irony though? Every argument is going to boil down to this exchange: "it's plainly stated in the Constitution" or "it's my understanding of the Constitution that it means something else." I believe it will probably always be that way and I guess on some level that is fine.

However, what I am tired of is the "holier than thou" attitude of those editorial staffs and politicians that wave the Constitution in your face every time they attack their opponents. Consider these quotes and passages:

"The Fourth Amendment prohibits the government from conducting random searches of the homes and papers of American citizens. Its words are unambiguous." [Des Moines Register 12/30/2005]

"The president, the vice president, the secretary of state, and the attorney general tell us that the president can order domestic spying inside this country -- without judicial oversight -- under his power as commander in chief. Really? Where do they find that in the Constitution?" [Sen. Ted Kennedy D-Ma 12/22/2005 op-ed Boston Globe]

Spare me the drama and state your case, or shut up and get down off the soapbox.

[exit In A Word, stepping off my soapbox]

It's Funny, Because It's True

Can someone please tell which of these two links [Link A or Link B] is an actual news article and which one is the parody?

A little creepy how close the Onion actually comes to the truth in its' satire isn't?

Things To Do While Killing Time Waiting At The Airport: Blurt Out That Your Mom Is A Secret Agent and Hold A Quick Interview

As we all know the public's short term memory is a, but do you remember that big hooha the New York Times made about the supposed secret spy, Valerie Plume? Remember how we had to endure countless attacks on the Bush administration from the Democrats, how we were lead to believe she was in an extremely sensitive position of the utmost importance, and how this breach of identity would jeopardize her career and years of undercover work? Yeah, me neither.

It has also been suggested that Valerie Plume and her husband Joe Wilson [pictured together with Valerie completely unrecognizeable while sporting her Clark Kent disguise] were highly ineffective at keeping their own mouths shut about her identity. Don't forget it was Plume's husband who wrote the oped piece for the New York Times that set off this whole charade. However, I write today to offer up one more little piece of irony...

"My daddy's famous, my mommy's a secret spy," exclaimed Valerie and Joe's 6 year boy as they were waiting to board a plane to leave for an undisclosed location.

That sure is one family that can keep a secret. Of course, Mr. Wilson, who is never one to shy away from the spotlight, proceeded to carry out an impromptu interview with the reporter who tracked them down in the airport. Wilson went on to reiterate his belief that the whole leak case was a ploy to discredit him for attacking the Bush administration's reasons for going to war.

When asked if he agreed with the statements his dad had just made, Plume and Wilson's 6 year old boy replied, "Yeah, Bush is a big poo poo head. Did Dad ever tell you about the time they sat around the kitchen table and came up with this pla..."

At which point, Joe Wilson muffled his young son's voice and proceeded to walk towards the plane mumbling something about "we don't tell the nice reporters that story."

Friday, December 30, 2005

Ask In A Word

Dear Ask In A Word,

How are you hope all is well with you and your family? My daughter is having funds in Europe to claim we need your assistance. She is 25 years old and a house girl as her profession, I was unable to take care of her properly so I have to let Madam Florence Zuma help me out well this is my personal life does not matter in my proposal to you.

I have this thing to tell you which I believe it can be helpful to both of Us.Like I told you at the beginning she is a house helper working under a woman named above but she is dead now and she is a very well know woman and she is a diamond merchant in Ghana but she Lives in Sierra Leone.

My Daughter stayed with her all this years working under her so she is dead now and she Don't having kid nor husband; she has a fund in Europe with my daughter's name US$2.5 million us dollars.Right now my daughter has back to senegal where i residence and we cannot secure a visa to go there personally.

I need your assistance to help us claim the funds and secured it in your Custody before I and my family come over with your help securing a visa for us in your embassy with the name of the company you will open once you claim the funds I believe with the company name they will give us visa.

For your assistance we will offer you 15% of the funds once you claim it.
She have all documents covering the funds I have talk to firm securing the consignment they said Once we have a beneficiary they will act according to my instructions and work with the new beneficiary so please let me know if you can be of assistance in this transaction So I can give you more details.

If you are willing to us contact me only on this email OR you can contact my Daughter on her email address but I prefer you contact me for better understanding.

Note: Once you claim the funds you will look for a school for my daughter there in your country so that she can further her education.
Thanks for your understanding.

Best regard
Frank wilfred.
[In A Word note: email left unedited for maximum humor]

Dear Wilfred,
My family is fine, and how very nice of you to ask considering we do not know each other. I am a tad confused as to whom I am suppose to contact about helping your family. You say I can email either you or daughter, but it is better to correspond through you "for better understanding." Have you read your own email, man? "For better understanding?" For crimmey sakes, if you must spam me, at least have the decency to do it with proper English.

Unfortunately, I am afraid I am currently assisting needy, filthy rich Nigerians so frankly your offer of 15% of $2.5 million dollars does not interest me. Lets me honest, Mr. Wilfred, $375,000 just is not worth my time. The Nigerians are offering me millions for my personal information, bank account and social security numbers. And after all, I am an American...I go to the highest bidder. However, you spoke of your daughter and considering how I will be filthy rich once my deal with the Nigerians is complete, I may be in need of a "house girl." Please stay in touch.

Help Wanted Ads

I ran across a website for an independent movie called "Driver's Wanted."

Click the link and hit the button for the trailer. This is funny stuff and I speak from experience.

My favorite line is when the pizza delivery driver is talking to the boy delivering papers:

"Some day kid. Just like me. Keep believing. Keep believing."

In A Word's Top 10 Albums Most Commonly Found On The Front Seat Or Floorboards Of My PT Cruiser

'Tis the season for annual top ten list from so-called experts on everything from music, books, movies, quotes, and politics. Being that I am now a professional blogger [I forfeited my amateur status when I put adsense on my blog to make about 8 cents a day], I decided I am just as qualified as anyone to shamelessly plug my favorites things of the past year.

Heck, I even composed a cutesy little title [along the lines of: "currently playing in my iPOD" or the CD that keep me humming all year"...yeah, you cheesy music critics you know who you are]. In A Word is proud to present the Top 10 Albums Most Commonly Found On The Front Seat Or Floorboards Of My PT Cruiser. In my little world, I don't have much time to listen to music. So, if a CD in my collection has found its' way from my house to my car, it is a place of honor for that particular album. "Honor" in the sense of the word that it will soon be so scratched and dirty that I will soon be downloading another "magical" copy off the internet. Also, keep in mind these are the albums I listened to the most this year, however they probably were not released this year. So, with that in mind...

In A Word is proud to Present the 2005 Top 10 Albums Most Commonly Found On The Front Seat Or Floorboards Of My PT Cruiser:

10. Trans Siberian Orchestra: The Lost Christmas Eve
You can pretty much lump all the TSO albums under this entry as I listen to them practically non-stop starting right after Thanksgiving. This is the type of music makes me crank the volume. Hard rock and symphony molded into one perfect sound. Brilliant.

9. Five For Fighting: The Battle For Everything
Something a little softer for my feminine side. Nice piano work. Very mainstream, but amazing tight sound.

8. Queensryche: Operation-Mindcrime
Ah, an all time great album from 1988. Queensryche suckered me in a retro tour this year [which by the way was one of the worst concerts I have been to]. However, Mindcrime stayed firmly in the CD player for the weeks leading up to the concert.

7. Rush: A Show Of Hands
As much as I hate to support Canadians, they do put out some good comedians and Rush is one of better musical bands of the last 25 years. IrishWalsh got me hooked for awhile on Rush and the "A Show Of Hands" live album is probably my favorite.

6. Coheed And Cambria: Second Stage Turbine Blade
Coheed was the jewel of the year for me. I got introduced through their most recent album and had the luxury of discovering their back catalogue of albums. "Second Stage" is the first album and extremely well put together. Think: Rush meets Dream Theater meets Queensryche.

5. Coheed And Cambria: In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth Vol. III
Coheed's second album in the Coheed and Cambria ongoing story. Each CD is a concept album progressing the story line. Intelligent lyrics backed up by a heavy, sometimes poppy sound.

4. Coheed And Cambria: Good Apollo, I'm Burning Bright IV Vol. I
The final Coheed album on my list is also their newest. The thing I am most amazed about is that in 3 full length albums I do not skip a single song. The albums are that good. And for a metal head that is a good thing.

3. Frank Sinatra: His Great Performances 1953-1960
Yeah, that's right Frank Sinatra. Without a doubt a one of all time greatest performers. His voice is timeless as are the songs he sings. This album is digitally remastered and contains a vast majority of his more famous songs.

2. Third Day: Wherever You Are
Southern grown blues rock served up Christian style. I am a sucker for good old fashioned Lynyrd Skynyrd style rock music, and no one does it better than Third Day [minus the drugs and fiery plane crashes]. To top it off Mac Powell writes some of the most in depth and profound lyrics on the rock scene. Don't let the Christian tag scare you away, this is the year's best new rock album hands down.

1. Dream Theater: Train Of Thought
Dream Theater released their 8th studio album this year entitled "Octovarium." However, the new release drove me back to rediscover their overall best album, which is "Train Of Thought." Put simply, this is the type of album Metallica would be making right now if they hadn't started talking about hurt feelings and needing a shrink to follow them around on tour. Most other Dream Theater albums are extremely prog-metal, however with "TOT" they strip back the sound and offer up their heaviest album to date. Kirk Hammett and the rest of Metallica please note that guitar solos and instrumentals still make great heavy metal music. Dream Theater nails it on this album. A must own.

Iowa Road Trip

Welcome to the brand spankin' new In A Word's Iowa Road Trip of statewide blogs. I am hoping to compile compelling post snippets of Iowa blogs and present them here on In A Word. Of course, the frequency will depend on my time and their content. However, this is my "tip of the hat" to a lot of great writers and thinkers here in Iowa. Many is the time I have turned to their blogs to get the creative juices flowing.

So, sit back, buckle up and away we go...

Iowa Voice: Liberals Try To "Explain" Why Bush Poll Numbers Are Rising
The Iowa Voice always seems to break the news of new Democrat whining first. I can always count on Brian to point me to the newest quotes and general stupidity from the left. Today, Iowa Voice explains how Democrats are taking credit for Bush's poll numbers rising.

Tusk And Talon: College Debt
Tusk and Talon takes a story about students loans off of State 29 and runs with it. I particularity like this take:
Another factor that isn't mentioned is that the Pell Grants and student loans that the Register pines for are themselves a cause of the increasing debt load. This is because the ease with which students can receive thousands and tens of thousands of dollars a year in student loans encourages students who are not ready for college to enter college.
Simply put, some people aren't ready or cut out for college, but the student loans entice them in.

Mainstream Iowan: Debunking A Conspiracy Theory About President Bush

This post, without a doubt, was my favorite story of the week. It is simply a link from Mainstream Iowan to the Chicago Tribune in which they analyze the Bush administrations reasons for going to war. I was very impressed with the conclusions the Chicago Tribune made, I felt they were very fair. And frankly, it was a little refreshing to read a news analysis that doesn't contain all the usually rhetoric.

The Mind of IrishWalsh: Save the Duckbilled Platypuss'eses

And finally, I have to give a shout out to my buddy IrishWalsh. His blog always contains funny links of irrelevant crap. It is like without all the clutter. And if you choose to navigate away to his site, you can always read a fascinating guest editorial by yours truly.

So, if you have had your daily fill of In A Word then click away and visit some of the great bloggers Iowa has to offer. Of course, as with any road trip make sure you return home to In A Word when you are done.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

New Democrat Math: Increasing Minimum Wage = Sweeping Victories In The Coming Elections

The Boston Globe [quickly becoming my most reliable source for all my liberal news] has run a story about how Democrats believe raising the minimum wage will put them in touch with America. The best part about this story is I get to include a quote from Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-MA), he is, as regular readers know, one of my favorite topics to blog about. A drunken, blowhard...I barely even have to work to write the editorials.
''It's a fairness issue, and everybody gets the concept of fairness," said Senator Edward M. Kennedy, Democrat of Massachusetts, a long-time proponent of a higher minimum wage. ''It's a moral issue. It's a value."
Did Ted Kennedy just throw around the words "moral" and "fair?" Oh, no he di-nit!

In the mind of Democrats, who have clearly shown a stunning connection to what American voter's desire by holding the minority in every branch of government, now believe the minimum wage is the path to the promise land.

As a small business owner, let me assure you our free market system is working. If you like socialist societies where the government intrudes on businesses, by all means increase the minimum wage. Shoot why let the market decide what employees are worth? Of course, what works at $5.15 per hour in Iowa may be a king's ransom to someone working for $5.15 a hour in Tennessee. Free markets work sooooooo much better if the government is involved. Hell, look at the post office, that is a friggin' model of efficiency.

Currently, 16 states already have a higher minimum wage than the national guideline. Quite frankly, that is where the power should lie, in the hands of the local governments. To illustrate, exactly how much of a non-issue minimum wage is to American workers, just walk into a Mc Donald's and ask how much they pay their employees starting out. Yes, it will usually be at least a buck more than $5.15 (of course, it goes without saying geographics part a large part in that equation).

I can assure you anyone making $5.15 a hour for 40 hours a week, without a doubt has to be one of the worst employees in the nation. People simply aren't working jobs for $5.15 a hour. They don't exist. Of course, the nation's teenagers would love a pay increase...and that is who this proposed increase will affect.

So, lets recap the current Democratic agenda: socialized medicine and government set wages in the private business sector. When Ted Kennedy starts talking about the welfare of our nation you have to wonder if he is talking about America or China?

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

A Cold Dose Of Reality To Start Your Week

I came to the realization that there may be a few of you out there that believe I am a tad harsh on the liberals and the Democratic party. To illustrate exactly way I keep them [and for that matter some Republicans, I am not that naive] in my crosshairs let me present you with the Communist Manifesto's 10 Planks as written by Karl Marx in 1848 as test to determine whether or not a society as adopted a Communist government.

Swallow hard and take a deep breath, this is going to hurt a lot [some comments in brackets, however most of the points are obvious and don't need my emphasis...unfortunately]:

1. Abolition of private property and the application of all rents of land to public purposes. [Eminent domain anyone?]

2. A heavy progressive or graduated income tax. [How many times have you heard the Democrats complain about tax cuts? There are things that the federal government need to provide, however it is their job to do so with the budget they are supplied. The American taxpayer should not be expected to pony up more money every time the politicians in Washington overspend their allowance]

3. Abolition of all rights of inheritance. [Death tax? Do you see a theme here?]

4. Confiscation of the property of all emigrants and rebels. [Any guesses of which Amendment to the Constitution is attacked most often by liberals? Ding, that is right...the 2nd Amendment. Huh, I wonder why?]

5. Centralization of credit in the hands of the state, by means of a national bank with State capital and an exclusive monopoly.

6. Centralization of the means of communications and transportation in the hands of the State.

7. Extension of factories and instruments of production owned by the state, the bringing into cultivation of waste lands, and the improvement of the soil generally in accordance with a common plan. [To look this plank in a more modern way, how many government business are there and many more are congressional leaders looking to build, expand or increase the department's current size?]

8. Equal liability of all to labor. Establishment of industrial armies, especially for agriculture. [I wish to this one wasn't true, but rest assured if I wasn't from Iowa and a farming family I would further dissect this plank. However, I believe, you reader, can make your own conclusions]

9. Combination of agriculture with manufacturing industries, gradual abolition of the distinction between town and country, by a more equitable distribution of population over the country.

10. Free education for all children in public schools. Abolition of children's factory labor in its present form. Combination of education with industrial production.

When I scream. When I yell. These planks are the bias for my concerns. There are no examples of properly functioning communist societies. Why? Because it is too fundamentally flawed to the nature of man. Just because we won the cold war and defeated the Russians, does not mean the fight stops there. I am not some Timothy Mc Veigh whack job. I am just a citizen that wants communist ideals left out of my government. I am tried of every time a Democrat wants a pet project to pass through the government we label it with a "basic human rights" tag. How many times have you heard socialized medicine is a basic right of all American's? That's right, the answer to that question is about as high as our national debt.

Communism is a slippery slope I do not wish to go down. Think for a moment how much our country has changed since its' inception. Now think about those changes as related to the 10 communist planks. And yes, that is an uneasy feeling in your gut...the question is do you want it to go away?

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Happy RamaHanuKwanzMas

Merry Christmas everyone.

Posting will be lite until probably at least Monday as we have wonderful family get togethers to attend and enjoy.

I had the privilege to guest post on the Mind of IrishWalsh. I would recommend reading it quickly before he gets back and deletes it. He tends to believe I am tasteless sometimes, however I don't believe my guest post went too far over the line. I might have went over the line a smidge; barely even a toe really...

Friday, December 23, 2005

"The Truth With Jokes:" Another In A Word Quickie Book Review On Gay Porn

Book reviews, as a general rule, cover the entire book. However, the case of Al Franken's latest book "The Truth With Jokes" one should handle the book and its' contents with care. Hence, with the toxic nature of the book [a liberal term used to describe incoherent thoughts scribbled in crayon on little pieces of paper and bound together] In A Word felt it necessary to start and end our review with merely the front cover.

The front cover of "The Truth With Jokes," is your basic book cover material and seems relatively capable of taking a few harsh throws against a wall in disgust. It should be noted, however, that we believe it highly unlike the front cover will withstand the punish it would surely receive during a complete reading of the entire book [Disclaimer: In A Word is certainly not advocating such a venture, please read "The Truth With Jokes" at your own risk].

Unfortunately, after the basic sound nature of the material used to construct the book, we are proud to note the presentation of the book diminishes quickly. The title could certainly use a little creativity. It would seem Franken has chosen to use cliques as a gimmick to rope in his readers, somewhere along the lines of: "Git R Done" and "You might be a redneck." With any luck Franken's 15 minutes of fame should be up at about the same time as Larry the Cable Guy.

To compound the horridness of the title, Franken once again has made the mistake of putting his extremely ugly face on the cover. Has the American consumer not endured enough this year? Why must you torture us, Mr. Franken? Surely your wife has mentioned your utter homely appearance as one of countless reasons why she is sleeping with the pool boy. In A Word would like to offer any one of the following adjectives to describe Franken's mugshot, please choose your favorite - all will apply: appalling, dreadful, frightful, horrible, shocking, grave, ominous, clumsy, gawky, or limpish.

Finally, in a lame attempt at humor, Mr Franken puts this little nugget on the cover "How Bush beat Kerry with a campaign of fear." Oh, stop please...your killing me...your going to make me pee my pants. The wit; it hurts the brain. Franken is clearly on a different comedic plane then me, and he can stay there if he pleases.

Of course, the only fear used against the American voters was simply reminding them that if they didn't vote for Bush...Kerry would be President. Record voter turnout ensued, need we say more?

Unfortunately, In A Word can not recommend the reading even the front cover of "The Truth With Jokes." It is suggested for the good of your blood pressure you divert your eyes when walking past the bargain bin in Barnes and Noble [which is where this book will be in a few weeks], and save yourself the anguish of possibly catching a glimpse of Franken's face.

Unlike with our review of "In Cold Blood," In A Word can neither confirm or disprove the existence of gay porn in within the pages of "The Truth." However, it is possible by simply looking at Franken that you could infer that he could be a homosexual...not that there is anything wrong with that.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

"In Cold Blood": An In A Word Quickie Book Report On Gay Porn

I have returned from my self imposed exile to continue to blog at unreasonable speeds.

My solitude included cuddling up with the book, "In Cold Blood" by Turman Capote. [Warning: very strong stereotypes and moderate homophobia to follow] And let me tell you, that gay guy can spin a damn good yarn. Using the word yarn, is a tad misleading due to the fact Capote maintains the book is non-fiction. I am sure for the most part it is, however there are portions of the book that are assuredly Capote's embellishments.

"In Cold Blood" is based on the true story of the murders of 4 people in a small rural Kansas town outside Garden City in 1959. What Capote does is take hundreds of pages of interviews and research and then molds the information into an engaging, almost fictional murder mystery type novel.

The character development is some of the best I have ever read. You personally get to know about 10 different personalities connected to the Clutter murders. One of the more brilliant decisions Capote made was to juxtapose what the family was doing before they were murdered and what the killers were doing leading up to destroying the Clutter family.

One of the rumors I have heard concerning "In Cold Blood," was that while interviewing one of the murderers, Capote actually grew very attached to Perry Smith [although not what you are thinking, but rather felt sorry for him]. Whether true or not, you will never notice it in the book. And while Capote does a good job of establishing some compassion for the killers, he never leads the reader very far from the pain and anguish of the brutal murders.

A few parting side notes on "In Cold Blood:"
  • Turman Capote researched "In Cold Blood" with the help of Harper Lee, a childhood friend and author of "To Kill A Mockingbird."
  • Due to Capote's flamboyant nature [read: raging homosexual] it has been argued he never would have been able to gather the information and interviews without Harper Lee at his side. She lent a certain "star quality" to breaking the ice when talking to the residents and authorities
  • Also while researching some background on Capote and "In Cold Blood," I stumbled across an interesting debate concerning "To Kill A Mockingbird." It seems there is some opinion that Capote may have actually wrote a considerable portion of "To Kill A Mockingbird." In fact, some of those close to Capote have actually said he claimed to have written as much as 80% of the novel.
I know "In Cold Blood" is considered an American classic and I should have probably read it sooner than 30 years into my life. However, that said, if you haven't the time to read perhaps Capote's finest novel, please do so. It's 340 or so pages will keeping you moving from beginning to end. Capote's greatest accomplishment with "In Cold Blood" is the ability to keep the reader engrossed in the story, while knowing most of the facts about the murders before you start even reading the book. As I sit here writing this post, I truly feel like almost knew the Clutter family, there killer and the men and their families that brought them to justice. Quite simply: a classic.

There is no gay porn within the pages of "In Cold Blood," just in case you were wondering. [I kid, I kid...chill out no nasty, pro-gay rights emails needed].

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Ask In A Word


Dear In A Word,

Greetings to you and Please permit me to introduce myself. I am Mr.Justin Lorenzo, an Italian crude oil Merchant based in Sao Tome and Principe. I was so lucky to come in contact with your profile and email address on the internet, and that is why i am contacting you. I was diagnosed with esophageal cancer which has defiled all medical solutions and according to medical experts I only have a few more months to live. As you read this you do not have to feel sorry for me as it is a universal truth that we all must die someday, the only problem with mine though being that I have particularly not lived my life well in spite of my wealth and possessions as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich I was never generous, I was never caring about people but only dedicated my time and resources on my business as that was the only thing I cared about. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just accumulating all the wealth in the world, as I lay helplessly on my sick bed. If I was given a second chance to live again I sure would live mylife a different way from how I have lived it owing to what has befallen me now. As my last days alive are drawing closer and closer I have already willed out most of my properties and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as a few close friends. I also want my soul to be at peace with God and for him to be merciful on me and accept my soul and to this regard I have resolved to give my remaining funds to charity organizations as I want this to stand as one of the last deeds I indulge in on earth before I die. Though I have already distributed money to some charity organizations, Now that my health has deteriorated so badly I can no longer continue with this myself and also I do not trust my immediate family members or close friends on this, as I have once asked them to close one of my accounts and distribute the funds therein to charity organizations in Sudan,Somolia, Haiti and India they greedily kept the money to themselves.
Hence I am contacting you with this as I have lost confidence in them because it is obvious they are not contented with what I have left for them. The last of my funds which no one knows of is a cash deposit of Fourteen million U.S Dollars ($14,000,000,00) stashed in two trunk boxes and declared as Personal effects of high security value which I have with a finance/Security Company in the Netherlands. All I am asking of you is to assist me in making the collection of this deposit and dispatching the funds to any charity of your choice after keeping 20% of the funds for yourself and your family.10% of these funds should be to cover any expenses that might be incurred in the process of making this claims. Please contact me as soon as you get this email if you are capable and sincere to handle this transaction on my behalf so I can forward you with all relevant documents necessary for the claims and the name of the security firm where the funds are deposited. God bless you as I await words from you.
Please inform me as soon as possible via my email, even if you are not interested so I can proceed to seek for someone else to carry out this on my behalf. Thanks for your anticipated co-operation.
Justin Lorenzo.

Dear Justin,

Thank you for considering In A Word as a beneficiary to your vast wealth. However, at this time In A Word is flush with offers to take, without any effort, considerable wealth from unknown sources. And frankly we just don't have the time to help everyone wishing to freely give away large sums of money.

However, as a thanks for thinking of In A Word as a possible source to will your money to, we would like to let you, Justin Lorenzo, in on the deal of a lifetime. I have a bridge in San Francisco Bay, slightly used, going cheap...

Let me know if you are interested. All I need is your bank account information. Obviously, you have my email address, so let me know as soon as possible. This deal won't last forever!

In A Word Special Coverage of the Tookie Williams Funeral

Amid the pomp and circumstance surrounding the Tookie Williams funeral, In A Word was able to secure special VIP passes for our band of roving reporters. William's black tie affair was the must attend celebrity event this week where a struggling B-list actor could get a little face time. Among the has beens were: Sean Penn, Danny Glover, and Snoop Dogg. Of course it goes without saying that Jesse Jackson was also in attendance... I mean duh, once the funeral gained nationwide attention Jackson's presence was a given.

Now lets join our field reporters who have caught up with some the celebrities on the red carpet, guys take it away...

Albert Owen: ...Gurgle...Gurgle...

In A Word Studios: Oh, Albert stop clowning around, everyone knows one of Tookie's favorite things to laugh about was you choking on your own blood. This funeral is a solemn affair, lets try to keep it professional. Anyone else want to add anything?

Yen-Yi: ...
Tsai-Shai: ...
Yu-Chin: ...

In A Word Studios: Guys you there? Anyone? Ew, it would seem we are having some technical difficulties due to the fact each one of our reporters had their brains blown out by a shotgun during Tookie's killing spree.

However, In A Word is hopeful some good still might come from all this violence. And no, we weren't thinking about the possibility of Tookie preaching against gang warfare. In A Word believes that with Albert, Yen-Yi, Tsai-Shai, and Yu-Chin now in the ever-after that they might be able to mediate a seance with the careers of Penn, Glover, and Jackson.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Unfortunately, this is funny because it is so close to the truth.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Person(s) of the Year

Greetings lowly readers of In A Word, I will be your substitute blogger today and my name is Mr. Walsh, IrishWalsh to be exact from The Mind of IrishWalsh. A blog that is far superior to this one if I do say so myself…and I do.

Today class we are going to talk about the folks over at Time Magazine and their yearly contest where they select the “Person of the Year”. The deliberation on their selection has been carried out by the team of elite judges selected from the “talent” residing in the dankest fetid media newsrooms in the nation. Such early nominations were Mother Nature and decapitating terror leader al-Zarqawi, so you can imagine my relief when at the 11th hour someone opened a window to the secret selection room deep in the bowels of the Time Magazine’s lair allowing in a breath of common sense to drift in from the outside world. They could not select just one as that would be much to straightforward, so the winners are Bill Gates, his wife Melinda and some guy name Boner or Bono or something like that. Congratulations to them as they each deserve recognition for their combined effort in combating hunger in African countries. Yes…even Bono (pictured, flamboyantly teasing dehydrated Africans with his ice cold Evian) who gained notoriety for himself and his band by singing about the plight of the Irish and the troubles in Northern Ireland but who has now moved on to higher profile causes. He will be relieved to know a peace treaty was actually reached without him…but I digress.

While Bono brings world attention to Africa with his benefit concert after benefit concert calling for the wealthy nations to give handouts to the poorest, Bill Gates and his wife Melinda have not only infused massive amounts of cash into the region but have decided that just giving a check to the governments of the most corrupt nations of the world and asking them to please feed their residents was not the wisest way to do it. Bill and Melinda Gates have ran their efforts to aid Africa the same way he has built the largest software developer in the world, by using proven business methods and overseeing the usage of money and its dispersal with pinpoint accuracy. He realizes that shotgunning money at Africa’s problems will do nothing but feed them for a day and that building an independent future is more important then a billion benefit concerts or sacks of oatmeal. It is through wisdom like this and increased democratic influence that we may actually see an end to Africa’s trouble that decades of benefit concerts have as of yet failed to cure.

As much vitriolic sentiment as I have spewed in the past about not only Bono and Bill Gates but people’s methods for “helping” Africa, it brings me great joy to say they are finally getting their acts together and congratulate them both along with Melinda Gates on being Time Magazine’s Person(s) of the Year.

Well Jordan should be back later today kids and I thank you for letting me stop in to In A Word for the day. Don't forget to swing on over to The Mind of IrishWalsh and say hello now!


Sunday, December 18, 2005

A Picture To Express The Pain One Feels While Reading "Peace Mom"

Tonight on Raw Is War hear Cindy "the Peace Freak" Sheehan lay the smack down: "I am bringin' the thunder and I am bringin' the pain...Can you smell what Cindy is cooking?"

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Blah, Blah, Bush Lied, Blah, Blah, Blah [New York Time's Headline On Any Given Day Of The Week]

Ever read a news story and wonder why you should even care about topic or information? Either I am getting more and more cynical and conservative each day or I really just don't give a damn about some of the supposed major stories the New York Times and other liberal leaning newspapers jam down our thoats.

Case in point: the possible eavesdropping authorized by Bush article that the New York Times ran this week. I couldn't care less. I have read the story and frankly I seems to be much ado about nothing.

Sen. Russ Feingold, D-Wis., a member of the Judiciary Committee, said, "This shocking revelation ought to send a chill down the spine of every American."

Of course my belief, Mr. Feingold, is you must first possess a spine to have a chill sent down it.

To further illustrate my frustration, the Time's author, James Risen, who wrote the eavesdropping story is about to release a new book. Yeah, I understand the motivation behind the story now...

On top of all that, the sources used in the eavesdropping article? Yeah, you guessed it. All anonymous. We are lead to believe this a really big deal by Democrats and the NY Times, yet none of their sources is man enough to own up to their own words and opinions. Nice.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Corrective Action: US Senate

Name: 47 members of the United States Senate. Date of Warning: December 16,2005
Supervisor: Jordan (one of 296,000,000 superiors to the Senate) Title: US citizen

Violation Type:
Willful termination of a safety procedures known as the Patriot Act. Jeopardizing the safety of an entire nation.

Supervisor's Statement:
The US Senate will be put on notice that the safety of the entire nation will be compromised on December 31, 2005 as they voted to allow the Patriot Act to expire. The Senate is reminded it is highly irresponsible to kill policies that have kept America safe since September 11 and not offer a better alternative.

Employee Statements:
Sen. John Sununu a New Hampshire Republican, stood by his opposition, saying, "In my state, I think there's pretty strong support for protecting civil liberties during times of war and peace."

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, a Nevada Democrat, said, "In my view, and in the view of many of my colleagues on both sides of the aisle, the conference report still does not contain enough checks on the expanded powers."

Action To Be Taken:
The Senate is put on notice they have 15 days to rectify the Patriot Act or risk putting the entire nation in eminant danger of further terrorist's attacks. If after December 31, 2005 the Senate is unable to compromise on the Patriot Act, the American citizens will move for dismissal and termination of certain Senators.

If At First You Don't Succeed, Impeach

I have been noticing a lot of similarities lately between Democrats and a two year old child that doesn't get its' way. Seems they are oblivious to the fact they haven't controlled our government for 5 years in the White House and since the mid nineties in congress. Americans have spoken in election after election that Democrats need to actually supply an answer to the problems of the nation, not just complain about what the Republicans are doing.

Enter John Kerry.

Still disillusioned about the fact that a majority of the United States didn't want him as our President, Kerry now believes we should discuss the possibility of impeaching President Bush. He holds the Downing Street memos as his sole piece of evidence. The Downing Street memos? Are you kidding me? There isn't a single quote attributed to Bush and the memos are one man's interruption of the "minutes" of a meeting.

This is not how politics should run. Unfortunately, this blog don't not exist when California held its' recall of then Governor Gray Davis. I believe, unless there is a strong case of ethics violations or breaking the law, our elected officials should not have to worry about being thrown out of office simply because the press and the American public have changed their minds. The President gets four year, Senators get 6 years, and House Representatives get two years in office. If, you the voter, have a hangover after an election your job during the next election is to be better informed and cast a better vote.

I find John Kerry's comments to be a prime example of why he is so bad for America and our political system. Our elected officials needs to be able to govern without having to pick up a daily newspaper and check the opinion polls. Of course, to a Democrat who governs and forms their morals and ideals on public opinion this must be a tough concept to grasp.

Put simply, what will Kerry's impeachment proceedings bring? More outrage from the right? Bush would already be into his second year by the time congress could even start to hear an impeachment case. So, even if congress impeaches Bush, the Democrats would only shave a year or two off Bush's term. Believe me, if the liberals were surprised by the turnout during the 2004 elections, watch what happens if you remove Bush. You have to wonder if the DNC is getting ready to muzzle Kerry.

Lets see if I have the rhetoric the Democrats in the last few months summed up correctly...
  • The Irag War is a lost cause, but we believe the troops are doing a great job.
  • We should impeach the President.

Solutions? Any solutions from the left? Or is all we get is the kicking, fussing and crying? Let me make one thing clear, I am not changing Kerry's diaper. That is Kennedy job.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

More Bad News For The Bush Administration

Apparently, according at least to Louisiana Department of Health and Hospitals, whites died at a higher rate than blacks during hurricane Katrina. Of the fatalities 47% were black and 42% were white, however the pre-storm population breakdown of New Orleans was 68% black and 28% white. Simple math tells us that President Bush shoulders the burden of explaining why we had so many collateral white deaths in our mission to kill off the black population of New Orleans.

Of course, news of these startling statistics prompted a phone call to the White House yesterday when the information was released...


Bush: "Yellooo"

Caller: "I have seen the death statistics from hurricane Katrina, Mr. Bush, and to put it mildly I am upset. We had an agreement to eradicate the blacks and I wish to know what went wrong?"

Bush: "Our pre-storm intelligence lead us to believe we had the hurricane positioned just right for maximum afro-American deaths, but you know how hurricanes are...they are a lot like can't completely control 'em."

Caller: "My associates aren't going to be happy, Mr. Bush. And when their not happy, I am not happy. You don't want me unhappy do you, Mr. Bush?"

Bush: "Of course not, but hold on one cotton pickin' minute here. Now look, I put an unqualified man in charge of FEMA, spent most of the day during the storm fundraising in California, and allowed the incompetent elected government officials in Louisiana oversee the aftermath of the storm. I hardly believe I can be solely to blame for the disproportionate amount of white deaths."

Caller: "Do not believe for one second you are off the hook Mr. Bush. When we get done discussing the fallout from Katrina, we still need to talk about the disproportionate amount of white deaths in our military..."

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

O.K. I Am Going To Be Honest, Making Fun Of Cindy Sheehan Just Gets Easier and Easier...

I am not sure exactly what Cindy Sheehan is doing on top of her son's grave, but I do know it just "looks wrong."

And in Cindy's continuing effort to undermine the life of her son (first by denouncing a war he wanted to fight for), Mrs. Sheehan announced her son was a virgin when he was killed.

"He would tell me all the time that he wanted to save that part of his life for his wedding night,Â" she said.

Now, I am not completely up to date on the intricacieses of media whoring quite like Mrs. Sheehan, but I have to wonder how that the question of Casey's sex life got brought up? Is nothing about Casey's life sacred to this women?

I am also curious to know if Casey's sex life is to be included into the meeting she desires with President Bush.

Cindy: "And I'm gonna say, "And you tell me, what the noble cause is that my son died for." And if he even starts to say freedom and democracy' I'm gonna say, bullshit. You're taking away our freedoms. The Iraqi people aren't freer, they're much worse off than before you meddled in their country. And I want to know why my son died before he could make funny O faces and crinkle his toes while laying in bed with a woman."

Ask In A Word

First there was Ann Landers and Dear Abby, and now to help you with all your liberal problems and to provide you with general advice on how to live in a world with dying common sense is Ask In A Word.

Feel free to submit your questions to the email address

We look forward to helping you find a little sanity in a crazy world. No question is off limits, but attempt to keep it fairly clean.

Ask In A Word: Common Sense advice on everyday interactions with Democrats and bleeding heart liberals.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

In A Word Action News Presents: Terri Schiavo Covering The Tookie Williams Execution

In A Word Action News is proud to bring you an in depth feature on the Tookie Williams execution. As the media attention starts to die down now that Tookie is in hell, In A Word would like to present a new spin on the growing soap opera that is liberal grand standing.

Jesse Jackson heard that at a minimum 50 TV stations and a 100 newspapers would be covering the Tookie saga. It needs not be said that this was Jackson's type of attention seeking circus. The whole dang proceeding practically begged for a Jesse Jackson intervention.

In A Word has secured an exclusive interview with Jesse Jackson. Lets us go now to our field reporter, Terri Schiavo, who will update us on her one on one conversation with Jesse Jackson, Terri we turn it over to you...

Terri: ....

In A Word Studios: Terri are you there?

Terri: ...

In A Word Studios: Terri blink once if you can hear me.

Terri: ...

In A Word Studios: Terri, am I to understand that by your motionless blank stare that you believe the irony of Democrats defending the life of a convicted killer, but allowing your husband to starve you to death is just another case of liberals being caught up in one of their ideological catch-22s? Yes, I see.

In A Word Studios: Terri, we heard the word "redemption" being thrown around a lot the last few days. Did you have a chance to press Jesse Jackson on that issue?

Terri: ...

In A Word Studios: Yes, I see your point, Terri. We also find it disturbing that a man could find redemption in a state institution. Clearly the separation of church and state is not being closely watched in California penal system if a man can find redemption in prison. Terri, we look forward to hearing more of your hard hitting investigative report in future newscasts.

Best New Band From Iowa Since Slipknot

In A Word Diversions has uncovered a fantastic new metal band. Jump on the bandwagon before it fills up...

The band is Early Witches, see there new video "Mathemphetamine."

Briefly...What If Howard Dean and Time Traveled Back To The 40s?

In A Word Retro has breaking news on the a news conference being held by the marionette doll, Howard Dean, and the puppeteers from

"We stand before the American press to announce the Democratic party's official stance on World War II. While the declaration of war on Japan may have been justifiable due to the events at Pearl Harbor, we stand before you to denounce the hostilities and invasion of Germany. Countless inquiries have established no link between the attacks on 12/7 and the Germans. I have seen this before with WWI. The idea we are going to win in Europe is plain wrong"

Monday, December 12, 2005

Fried Tookie: An In A Word Recipe

**Warning this post may be highly offensive to some people, read at your own risk**

Ingredients needed: 1 convicted felon with a history of murder and gang creation, 1 extremely liberal state with bleeding heart celebrities, and nationwide media attention.
  • Dice 4 lives and cut them short.
  • Simmer unremorseful for 20 years.
  • Sprinkle liberally with sympathy from celebrities and attention seekers
  • Garnish with Children's literature and Noble peace prize nominations.
  • Prior to baking, marinate in deadly chemical for 1 hour.
  • Finally, serve on a slab as an example for all to see.

Serving directions: please be aware Fried Tookie will result in a highly racial concoction. Rioting may ensue.

Panic Subsides As Insurgent Nun Killed

Deep in the Amazon forest, Rayfran das Neves Sales ended 20 years of terror by killing nun, Dorothy Stang a stanch defender of the Brazilian rain forests. Sales claims to have been merely acting in self defense when the radical nun reached for her fully loaded Bible.

“She said, ‘The weapon I have is this,’ and reached into her bag,” Sales said. “I didn't know what she was going to pull out of her bag, so I shot her.”

One could argue that shooting Stang once would have been sufficient, but Sales shot her five times.

"How many times do I have to hear John 3:16? I mean I have seen Vertigo, and no nun is taking me out."

Communist "Mother" Honored By Berkeley...The Rest Of The Nation Tries To Act Shocked

Last week in Berkeley, or as the rest of the nation calls it little China, city counsel leaders flipped off the US House of Representatives and the nation's founding fathers by naming their City Hall building after known Communist Maudelle Shirek.

To catch anyone up who may have glossed over this debate between Shirek supporters and opponents, earlier this year the US House of Representatives killed a bill that would have renamed an US Post Office branch after Shirek. In the middle of the debate was Steve King (R-IA) arguing against Shirek because of her strong ties to communist organizations. In her years of political activism she traveled to Moscow, Nicaragua and Cuba, where she dined with Fidel Castro.

Quotes of support and outrage at the treatment of Shirek flowed like milk and honey:

"Maudelle is one of my political heroes," Comrade Barbara Lee, D-Oakland said. "This is fitting tribute to her leadership and all that she has given to the community."

Lee added while pounding her shoe on her desk during the debate in House chambers "that the campaign of innuendo and unsubstantiated 'concern' is better suited to the era of Joe McCarthy and J. Edgar Hoover than today's House of Representatives. Whether you like it or not, history is on our side...we will bury you!"

Ah, yes you can never attack a ultra, liberal Democrat, because in their minds it reeks of McCarthism. Barbara Stalin-Lee went on and called Shirek her "political mother."

I, for one, applaud King for his stance. I am so damn tired of people making Communism O.K. Just because we won the cold war doesn't mean we start to sleep around with Communist ideals. If Lee and Shirek believes so strongly that there is a place for socialist reform within the United States then may I suggest a history lesson on the U.S.S.R. or a new home in China.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Laying Down To The Man

As I find irony to be the strongest form of humor, it turns out the joke's on me. I put an Ad banner on In A Word. However, to be honest I can't wait for the post where I rip on Ted Kennedy (again) and right above it there is an ad for anti Bush bumper sticker. It is almost a commentary within itself.

And hey, if I can make a buck or two a year... well, by my calculations that is the going price for dignity these days.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Query: Is Political Positioning For A Few Mid-Term Elections Worth Sacrificing The Safety Of Our Troops?

Article III section III of the United States Constitution:

Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court. The Congress shall have Power to declare the Punishment of Treason, but no Attainder of Treason shall work Corruption of Blood, or Forfeiture except during the Life of the Person attainted.

Howard Dean (pictured) speaking without a net on Monday December 5, 2005:

"The idea that we're going to win the war in Iraq is an idea which is just plain wrong."

Aid and Comfort to the enemy? Or political discourse?

In A Word's stance: "Get a rope" And don't forget our troops are watching, but then so is the enemy...

Democrats Label Lieberman With New Nickname: "Flex Time"

There was a lot of grumbling within the Democratic party on Friday about the amount of vacation time Senator Joseph Lieberman (Conn.) has been taking lately.

"He has been to Iraq, what like 4 times in the last 17 months?" Senator Harry Reid of Nevada fumed, "how many vacations does one man need in a year and half?"

"Um, hello, there is a war at home too...the public opinion war," Representative Nancy Pelosi of California explained, "with Joe taking all these personal days and jetting off to exotic Iraq all time other Democrats have had to shoulder a greater burden of constantly attacking Bush. Us liberals are getting worn thin, I mean look at Dean for God's sake!"

For the first time in years the Democrats seem to be unified on an issue besides the general hatred of Bush...the hatred of Lieberman.

"O.K. you know it is getting bad when have to trot John Kerry out in front of the press again," moaned Tom Matzzie, the Washington director for, "we need Joe to start toe-ing the party line again and stop thinking for himself. We could really use his common sense approach representing the liberal side of things on TV show like "Face The Nation."

"I mean," continued Matzzie, "did you see the train wreck that was John Kerry on TV last week? Claiming US troops were terrorizing children...and to think I voted for him."

When asked to comment on the backlash from his own party, Lieberman waved off questions a strolled away.

However, In A Word Political Insider believe they heard him mumble something under his breath along lines of: "why do the libs always hafta be all up in my bizness? They are bringing the J-Man down." Of course, he might have said "no comment," it was hard to tell.

Tookie: An In A Word Children's Story

Once upon a time there was a very evil man named Tookie. Tookie lived in dark and gloomy place called South Central surrounded by other bad, bad men. Together Tookie and the other bad men created a big bully group called the Crips. The Crips were known to scare people, take their lunch money, paint words on walls and kill people.

One day Tookie was so strung out and in need of a fix, so he hoped in his "hoopty" and set out for a peddler's shop. A dark cloud appeared over Abu's Quik Mart as Tookie went inside. Tookie took all the money from the cash register, but the worst thing he did was shoot a man in back of the head with a sawed off shot gun simply because that man had a different colored skin than Tookie. And that children is called racially motivated murder.

After that night Tookie began to turn even more evil. A few days later Tookie murdered almost an entire family of immigrants that were looking for a better life in South Central. Each member of the family was unarmed and shot at point blank range. It took days for the medical examiner to place their bodies back together. Tookie was even known to laugh about the sounds the dying people would make after he shot them. Gurgle, gurgle.

If our story ended here, it would have a sad tale of woe. However, South Central had a group of heroes called police and they found Tookie and locked him away in a chamber at their castle. A great sigh was heard across the land, but our heroes would soon learn that because Tookie was so evil that the bully group he founded still continued to kill people while he was locked up in the castle.

And while the police battled with the Crips and new threat began to emerge in the distance. Over the horizon came an invading group of liberals. They descended on South Central and called Tookie a great man and asked the heroes to spare him from his sentence of death. Soon people began to nominate Tookie for the highest peaceful award known to mankind called the Noble. Entertainers and jesters from all over the world came to the defense of Tookie and demanded something called clemency. Although Tookie granted no clemency to his victims, the liberals believed Tookie was entitled to forgiveness.

Unfortunately, our tale doesn't have an ending yet. However, the moral to story is this: if you kill four people in cold blood and create a gang that to this day continues to kill hundreds more people make sure you write a few children's book because they make a great sympathetic case to the liberals that your life should be spared.

Friday, December 09, 2005

A New Media Bias Record: 465 Unconfirmed Sources

In A Word Media Watchdog has uncovered yet another great example of using unconfirmed sources as the basis for an entire article. Yahoo! news published an article by Richard Reeves entitled IS GEORGE BUSH THE WORST PRESIDENT -- EVER? Well, according to the article over 388 historians believe George Bush to be the worst president ever or heading down that road. Of course, none of these so-called historians would publicly state their beliefs.

So, for those of you keeping track at home, here is what we know to be true from the Reeves' Yahoo! article:
  • 465 people were polled and asked about Bush's recorded compared to other Presidents. However, we (the reader) can not truly know if any of those polled is even an actual historian because no one would actually commit to any of their beliefs publicly.
  • John F. Kennedy wrote a book called Profiles In Courage.
  • James Buchanan was the 15th president of the United States.
  • James Buchanan was a lawyer, a self-made man, served with some distinction in the House, served as chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee' and secretary of state under President James K. Polk. He had a great deal to do with the United States becoming a continental nation -- "Manifest Destiny," war with Mexico. He was also ambassador to Great Britain and was offered a seat on the Supreme Court three separate times.
  • The end.

From all this nothingness, Reeves goes on to try and make a case that the most historians believe George Bush will wind up beating James Buchanan for the title of worst President of the United States. My personal favorite non-attributed statement was: "...and it should be noted that some of the criticism about deficit spending and misuse of the military came from self-identified conservatives."

I've got an idea, next time Yahoo! runs a top story like this that shows up on my Yahoo! News page, how about actually including some real sources (you know people that actually believe their statements so strongly that we actually publish their names).

Where did they find these historian hacks anyway and who the hell are they? Anyone who understands history knows Bush's legacy won't be written for at least 25 to 50 years. I find it woefully irresponsible for historians to be making these type anti Bush comments only 5 years into the Bush Presidency.

Unfortunately, woefully irresponsible and today's media go hand in hand.

Iran Denies The Holocaust And The World Being Round

Citing something along the lines of Jewish media bias and lacking the ability to see the world beyond the tip of their noses, Iranian leaders this week dismissed that the Holocaust of World War II ever even happened.

"Some European countries insist on saying that Hitler killed millions of innocent Jews in furnaces ... Although we don't accept this claim." stated Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, "We also believe the United States to be figment of the world's imagine as everyone knows the world ends just a few miles off the eastern coast of Portugal and Spain."

In A Word Political Insider has an unconfirmed, unreliable source that says the UN is now strongly considering the United States' new exit strategy from Iraq(pictured). However, the only roadblock to UN approval seems to be the insistence that the US converge on Iran from both Iraq and Afghanistan. More on this story as Iranian leaders say more stupid things later today.

Sacred Cash Cow

After 25 years, some people still can't move on. With thousands of people flocking to New York to commemorate the 25th anniversary of John Lennon's death, his family and attention seeking musical artists are patiently waiting by for the royalty checks. Sensational death, even two decades later, is still big money.

Among the artists on tap to cash in on the festivities are Dave Matthews, Paul Weller, 1960s pop star Lulu ("To Sir With Love"), Avril Lavigne, Black Eyed Peas, the Cure, and New Age, flautist Michael Rose.

All of these people are looking to gain access to the 22 million dollars John Lennon still generates annually. And while maybe the camp fire sing along by marginal recording artists could be dismissed as a tribute, the rest of junk being peddled to consumers this year reeks of suspicious timing. Oh sure, there are teary eyed remembrances:

"I could not open that part of my heart while it's still shaking." (Yoko Ono)

"It's very sad for the family when it's all brought up again. The anniversary of his death is upsetting enough without this as well." (Stanley Parkes)

Yes, truly touching. And you the consumer can be a part of the family's grieving process by purchasing an one of the following items, released just in time for the holidays: multiple compilations CDs, mp3 downloads from the artists listed above, a least 3 new books, network TV documentaries, and of course the John Lennon Jewelry Connection.

The John Lennon Jewelry Connection, because nothing says Power To The People and Give Peace A Chance quite like a wristwatch and a pinky ring.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

People Are Becoming So Open Minded Their Brains Are Falling Out

Purdue University officials were unhappy with the amount backlash they received last year for renaming a Christmas tree a "holiday" tree, so they tried again this year to see if they could enrage even more people. It seems at P.U., holiday tree doesn't properly convey just how much they would like to strip Christmas from the Christmas season. Running out of politically correct words to describe a "non-Christmas Tree" Christmas Tree the brain trust at Purdue huddled around and came up with "unity Tree."

Oh, the warmth I feel in heart when I look at the unity tree. Nothing says religious cleansing quite like an unity tree.

"We're just calling it the Union tree," said Margie Stoltz, program adviser at Purdue Memorial Union. "We really try to incorporate celebrations from around the world here." What other religious holiday is celebrated by a pine tree always put up in December, Margie?

It is my belief the harder people try to extract Christianity from Christmas the more attention they actually draw to the fact is it a religious holiday. Do me a favor. Go up to a child this Christmas and tell them that the pine tree they have in the house is a very nice "unity" tree. And yes the stupid look they give is an accurate description of how out of control the politically correct movement has gotten.

"Nice unity tree."

"It's a Christmas tree."

"No unity tree"

"It IS a Christmas tree, are you stupid?"

"We don't say the word stupid Timmy, and it is an unity tree."

"It is a Christmas tree and not a stupid unity tree, boogerhead."

"See Timmy this is the kind of attitude a Christmas tree brings and why we are now celebrating around an unity tree."

"It is a Christmas Tree (times infinity)." [sticks tongue out] "Mom! This crazy man it scaring me."

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Innocence Lost: A Heart Wrenching Story Of A Boy And His Gun And His Drugs

In Des Moines, Iowa on Tuesday, a known drug dealer stood trial of 10 counts of attempted murder. The charges stem from a May 10th reverse drug sting operation that left three police officers and Dennis "D.J." Schofield injured. All told there was 18 area police officers at the Heartland Inn hotel where the confrontation took place.

Schofield's plea? Self defense. Well, of course it is. D.J. is just an innocent victim in all these proceedings. Had the mean-old police officers not tried to arrest him for breaking the law, poor D.J. would have never shot at the officers.

Caution the next quote is from, Ted Prine, Schofield's lawyer (this will probably sting your brain a little):

"The thing that my client saw coming out of the the room across the hallway was
not a police officer, but a gun," Prine said. "My client turned and ran for his life."

Schofield "didn't try to kill those people," Prine said. "He didn't even know they were there."
[Deep thought]

Alright I believe I have taken in the entire defense case, here is my summary:

Schofield purchases $15,000 worth crystal methamphetamine during a police sting. Then police bust in to arrest Schofield with badges, bullet shields, and wearing uniforms that say Police across the front. At this time according to Prine, Schofield is not thinking "wow, I just broke the law by engaging in drug trafficking." No instead Prine contends Schofield it thinking "wow, the way those people in riot gear just busted out of the room across the hall they must be the hotel's pissed off cleaning staff."

The rest of the story is pure conjecture on my part, but I believe the only reason Schofield shot at the cleaning crew/police was because he had just soiled himself and the room's carpet and he knew extra charges were probably going to appear on his hotel bill. So, as any normal, law abiding citizen would do, he pulled out his gun and started shooting. Of course, the militant cleaning crew returned fire. In the end it was just a big misunderstanding and with any luck D.J. will back on the streets selling drugs by 5 PM tonight.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005


I have been watching my site meter lately to see where and why people are coming to my little blog. Quite simply, I am disturbed. Two the biggest reasons people are searching this site: Barbara Walter's 10 Most Fascinating People of 2005 and Bestiality.

Just so no one is misled, this is not a celebrity gossip blog.

And secondly, I wrote a simple article about Massachusetts changing their bestialtiy laws. And no there aren't any pictures.

Please stay tuned for my next post Barbara Walter's In Depth Look at Bestiality and the 10 Most Fascinating People of 2005.

...And I get called sick for writing a story about American's celebrating our 1,000 execution.

Who Exactly Is Suppose To Be Doing The Terrorizing?

Cue John Kerry:

"There is no reason, Bob, that young American soldiers need to be going into the homes of Iraqis in the dead of night, terrorizing kids and children, you know, women, breaking sort of the customs of the -- of -- of -- of -- historical customs, religious customs, whether you like it or not. Iraqis should be doing that. " (CBS' Face The Nation, Sunday December 4, 2005).

Let me see if I've got this straight. There is no reason, according to John Kerry, for American soldiers to terrorizing kids in the dead night. Yes, John I could agree with that statement if it is true. However, he goes on to say the "Iraqis should be doing that." So, is Kerry saying the Iraqis should be the ones terrorizing kids in the middle of the night?

Cue John Kerry's spokeman, David Wade (about the attacks on Kerry):

"Ken Mehlman's filthy and shameful lie about a decorated combat veteran is
disgraceful. Political hack Ken Mehlman and draft dodging, donut eating Rush Limbaugh have something in common. Neither of them know anything about how to make American troops safe. John Kerry will continue to speak out about how to succeed in Iraq and protect brave American troops'... "
"John Kerry will continue to speak out about how to succeed in Iraq." Well, which is it? Are we going to win or not win the war? Are we going to succeed or fail? Stop trying to straddle the line and take a damn position.

I love how David Wade is astounded that Ken Mehlman and Rush Limbaugh would treat the great war hero John Kerry with such disgrace, but he then turns around and insults them right back.

Hey, Wade what about the shameful lies John Kerry said to a congressional hearing after he returned from Vietnam? Selective Outrage right on cue...


I put a new site on the links section. I highly recommend you go read some of the stories. The blog is titled "A Day In Iraq." It is written (and well written I might add) by a soldier stationed in Iraq. Do me a favor and keep Kerry and Dean's recent comments in the back of mind while you read it. Thanks to IrishWalsh for the link.

Here is another link to explain why I almost exclusively use Google now over Yahoo!. Well, O.K. I use Google because it is far superior, but an interesting link none the less.

I also included a picture to further prove everything is President Bush's fault.

President Bush: "Look Condi, I took an old man's dentures."

Nancy Pelosi (over hearing Bush's conversation): "John Murtha is a decorated Vietnam War veteran and an American Hero who deserves to be able to eat solid foods! I will not stand for these baseless attacks"

Please Stand By

There was a technical glitch yesterday and I apology to anyone who didn't get their daily fix of liberal bashing. I feel your pain, it was hard for me too.

Also, be aware I am not stifling free speech in the comments section. I switched to Haloscan for trackbacks and comments. In that process the Blogger comments have disappeared. Not that I wouldn't stifle free speech on my blog, it is after all my blog; in this case however it was not me.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Ah, Mr. Poopy Pants I presume...

Always the conscientious morale builder for our troops engaged in combat situations, Howard Dean fought back Sunday to try and undo some of the positive coverage that Joe Lieberman's editorial in the Wall Street Journal brought to the situation in Iraq. Not that Coward Dean has ever used much thought before he engages his mouth here is a rundown of his defeatist views:

"The idea that we're going to win the war in Iraq is an idea which is just plain

"I've seen this before in my life. This is the same situation we had in Vietnam. Everybody then kept saying, 'just another year, just stay the course, we'll have a victory.' Well, we didn't have a victory, and this policy cost the lives of an additional 25,000 troops because we were too stubborn to recognize what was happening."
Ew, so sorry Mr. Dean, but you lose 2 points for false correlations and fear pandering. I mean Iraq and Vietnam are literally mirror images of each other. 50,000 lost troops in Vietnam to 2,000 in Iraq. No regime change in Vietnam to democratic government with a constitution in Iraq. Vietnam lasted about 12 years we have been in Iraq less than 3 years. All we need now is few urine filled balloons and John Kerry talking about atrocities being committed by our troops and the correlations will be complete. Oh wait, I guess we got that too:

"And there is no reason, Bob, that young American soldiers need to be going into
the homes of Iraqis in the dead of night, terrorizing kids and children"
(Senator John Kerry, November 4, 2005 on CBS' "Face the Nation")
Quite frankly Coward, the only similarities between Iraq and Vietnam is the hysteria being created by the Democrats. I find it very insulting that you keep making uninformed comments about our troops in Iraq while sitting in your cozy, secluded little world, but your fellow Democrat Joe Lieberman has been to Iraq 4 times in the last 17 months.

Why don't you own up Coward. Reach down and see if you have a pair, board a plane, and go to Iraq and actually look the troops in the eye and say the same crap you do here in America. You will find the baseless rhetoric you preach is easier if you don't have to be worried about the repercussions and let a little truth get in the way.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

I Reject Your Reality And Substitute My Own

Hillary Clinton (pictured listening to herself speak) spoke briefly in Kentucky on Friday (after all it is hunting season) about a need for a clear plan in Iraq.

"The time has come for the administration to stop serving up platitudes and present a plan for finishing this war with success and honor," she said. "I reject a rigid timetable that the terrorists can exploit, and I reject an open timetable that has no ending attached to it. Instead, I think we need a plan for winning and concluding this war, and the president can begin by taking responsibilities for the false assurances, faulty evidence and mismanagement of this war."
A bunch of words that say absolutely nothing. I reject a rigid and/or an open timetable? What?!? Oh, I get it. Mrs. Clinton wants a plan in step with public opinion. Ever changing. Hell, her "husband" ran the country on public opinion polls for 8 years how much different could a war be?

Hillary also shows her vast knowledge of military strategy by demanding a plan for "winning and concluding this war." Mrs. Clinton believes we can start winning the war by Bush merely taking responsibility for false assurances, faulty evidence, and mismanagement of war.

I've got news for Hillary, in my book we are already winning the war. My belief is that if you overthrow the existing government that is a lot like winning to me. I believe if you establish an entirely new democratic government with successful elections that has slight resemblance to winning. When you capture and try in a court of law the former murderous dictator you are on your way to winning the war. Remember all of these "failures" were also accomplished in less than 3 years.

Did we defeat and reconstruct Germany and Japan in 3 years? Did we establish ourselves as an independent nation with a ratified constitution in 3 years? Since when did winning a war become like impulse buying a pack of gum at the check out aisle?

"Oh, look Tic Tacs, Juicy Fruit, Lifesavers and democracy for a Middle East nation. Now kids, only pick one I don't want you spoiling your supper..."

In A Word Analysis: Losing The War In California

As the growing death toll mounts, political leaders are starting to call for an immediate withdrawal from the state of California. With 2,394 homicides this year alone in the Golden State (or 265% higher than allied troop loses in Iraq) and mounting political pressure from swing voters, the question now becomes how long can we continues to "stay the course."

"We have made real tangible progress on the ground in California," Senator John Kerry (D-MA) said during a news conference on Friday. "We can't pull out now. If we leave before the job is finished countless additional lives will be lost to the anti-Political Correctness insurgency. We must stay thc course until they are completely detached from reality."

It should be said however, the Republicans have never really presented a clear alternative plan on California. "We will have a position at the proper time, we are not the majority party in California," argued Senator Grassley (R-IA). "The American people were feed lies since the founding of California. The government clearly didn't have all the facts straight on the gold rush of 1849, but the great, great, great Grandfather of Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) was determined to settle that land. My ancestors didn't have the same information as the Feinsteins. Knowing what we know now, they would have never supported the Monroe Doctrine"

Tens of protesters (pictured) lined the streets in other major US cities holding signs like "No Blood for Gay Marriage" and demanding the withdrawal of our citizens from the California quagmire. "I had a perfectly normal son move to San Francisco, now when he comes home for Christmas all he does is complain about God being on the $20 bill," lamented an unnamed parent of an unconfirmed child.

"The southern borders of California leak like a sieve and it has basically become a breeding ground for liberals," stated Bill Frist (R-Tenn) a noted P.C. hawk, "and the militant organization is so entrenched that honest and free elections seem unrealistic at this point."

Despite dwindling polls numbers, President Bush said Monday the US will not cut and run. "We are at crossroads in history. There are good people in California who will certainly fall to liberalism if we withdraw our conservatives to Nevada and Utah."

In A Word believes, despite all the political rhetoric, we need a timetable for action on California. With outposts like Hollywood and their weapons of mass distortion, how long can we afford to let their warped views destroy the American way of life?