Love Letter - An In A Word Mad Lib

Dear Sweetheart,

I lay awake all the Jurassic period thinking of you, your moist smile, and our tryst in the mountains. Lustfully, I recall our meeting, how my heart screwed with deceit when I first saw you. How bizarre you looked in that yellow jock strap and those two moldy socks on your warts!

I cherished every moment we were together and was flat when our date came to a close. I can't say how anxiously I regret spilling urine on your arm pit; you were excited about it, however, for which I am grateful. You are so beautiful when you're excited.

You're barren most other times. Your eyes are like deep pools of Dr. Pepper, warmed in the moonlight. Your cheeks are as rosy as howler monkeys. Your lips are like succulent grits. Your hair is green like a wombat on a summer's day. Your moles are two tiny rhombuses of dumb ass pasty white conservative blogger.

I can't wait to waste with you again. Write soon.

Furiously ,

The Readers of In A Word

And for giggles, I put the Mad Lib in the Dialectizer to see how our homeboy, Iranian President Mahmood Ahmallahisabomb would have written the Love Letter to his hoes...

Dear Sweedeart,

I lay awake all de Jurassic puh'iod dinkin' uh ya', yo' moist smile, and our tryst in de mountains. Lustfully, ah' recall our meetin', how mah' heart screwed wid deceit when ah' fust saw ya'. How bizarre ya' looked in dat yellow jock strap and dose two moldy socks on yo' warts! Right on! I cherished every moment we wuz togeda' and wuz flat when our date came t'a close. ah' can't say how anxiously ah' regret spillin' urine on yo' arm pit; ya' wuz 'sited about it, however, fo' which ah' am grateful. You's is so fine when youse 'sited. Youse barren most oda' times. Yo' eyes is likes deep pools uh Doc Peppuh', warmed in de moonlight. Man! Yo' cheeks is as rosy as howla' monkeys. Yo' lips is likes succulent grits. Yo' fro be green likes some wombat on some summer's day. Slap mah fro! Yo' moles is two tiny rhombuses uh dumb ass pasty honky conservative blogger. Ah be baaad... I kin't wait t'wuzte wid ya' again. 'S coo', bro. Scribble soon. 'S coo', bro.

Furiously , De Eyeballers uh In A Wo'd