New York [CBB] - As tensions continue to mount over the Iranian capture of 15 British sailors and marines, Prime Minister Tony Blair announced the British had escalated the situation.
At 6:45 AM [EST] a squadron of British and US lawyers descended on the United Nations headquarters in New York delivering a resolution calling for sanctions against Iran.
"If they do not accept our terms they may expect a rain of strongly worded briefs from our legal department the likes of which has never been seen on this Earth," Blair said during a morning press conference.
The White House confirmed Blair's statements, adding that British and US coalition team of writers and legal assistants had been secretly crafting the 500 page document at a military base in Los Alamos, New Mexico. US officials stated that resolution produces 500 times the preambulatory clauses and operative clauses of a normal UN resolution and was code named "Little Book."
International response to the resolution was meant with widespread condemnation. World leaders are calling the US and British governments to exercise restraint while appealing to Blair and President Bush to tone down the combative rhetoric.
"Untold man hours will be required to read through this document as there are no pictures," French President Jacques Chirac said, "this indiscriminate destruction of diplomatic free time while not be tolerated."
Causalities and fallout from the resolution remain sketchy, but the UN staffers have confirmed at least one paper cut and a case of carpel tunnel.