Friday, March 09, 2007
Sex Scandal Rocks Iowa Governor Chet Culver
Des Moines [CBB] - Comprised of details that would make Hollywood gossips blush, the Des Moines Register is reporting that Iowa governor, Chet Culver, has been caught having a extramarital affair with AFL-CIO president Mark Smith. According to the Register, top investigative reporter Tom Witoski received a tip early Sunday morning of foul play inside Culver's office at the Terrace Hill governor's mansion.
Unconfirmed reports say that when Witoski and his assistant walked into the Culver office they saw Smith seated in the governor's chair. Upon entering Culver's office, it was said that Smith looked startled but 'satisfied.' Moments after the Register team barged in, Culver popped up from underneath his desk.
"This isn't what it looks like," Culver claimed while wiping his month, "I can explain everything."
As news of scandal broke on the AP wire local TV reporters rushed to Terrace Hill. Culver appeared clearly rattled and worried about the fallout that his homosexual affair would have on his image. Smith on the other hand looked composed and smoked a cigarette while making a plea of calmness to Culver.
"Chetty there is no reason to worry, I am sleeping with half of the Register editorial staff too," Smith said, "By Monday this story will be buried between Marmaduke and Family Circus."
Details are still starting to emerge, but it appears the men were engaging in a little sexual role play with Culver acting out the part of the dumb, blond democrat that knowingly gets bent over. However, there was no word at this time on whether or not Culver at least got to cuddle.
Initial coverage had also inferred that the two men had been practicing bestiality, as there were sketchy reports of some kind of animal in a dominatrix outfit in the office with the men. However further inquiries confirmed that is wasn't an animal at all, but rather Lt. governor Patty Judge.