AUSTIN, TX [CBB]- Author and liberal columnist Molly Ivins died of cancer on Wednesday after a long fight with cancer. She revealed in 2006 that she had been diagnosed with quick spreading untreatable type of cancer known as acute liberalphoma.
"Mrs. Ivins lived a hard life bashing conservatives in her daily syndicated columns, so unfortunately this her diagnosis wasn't a matter of 'if' but rather 'when,'" Dr. Thomas Butters Chief Physician at the University of Texas medical center where Ivins died. "When we first discovered Molly had liberalphoma the growth was relatively small considering her history of viciously attacking Republicans starting all the way back with Nixon during Watergate. We advised she rethink future printings of her "Bushwhacked" novel criticizing President Bush, but she wouldn't hear of it. It was almost like she had a death wish."
Liberalphoma, so named because of its' irrational growth rate and side effects that include abnormal bleeding of the heart, has become one of the fastest growing cancers in America.
"Ever since no WMDs were found in Iraq, the rate of liberalphoma has quadrupled," Stacey Berry, President of the American Cancer Society said, "we are predicting by the end of the Bush administration liberalphoma will pass prostrate and breast cancer as the leading cause of death in the United States."
The American Cancer Society is urging the public to start taking preventative measures in an attempt to curb the rising liberalphoma death rates. As with most cancers, avoiding carcinogens is the key. ACS is asking that people steer clear from such things as Molly Ivin's books "Bushwhacked" and "Shrub: The Short but Happy Political Life of George W. Bush" as well as anti-war rallies, Air America, the mainstream press and any movie staring Alec Baldwin.
Reprinted for The Corn Beltway Boys
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