Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Senate Calls For Terror Alert Overhaul

New York [CBB] - It is being reported that New York Senator, Charles Schumer [D], is calling for a complete overhaul of the Department of Homeland Security's color coded Terror Alert system. Citing a desire to be more inclusive and less harsh, Schumer is advocating for entire "rainbow" of colors and "softer hues."

"When I first saw the Terror Alert scale back in 2001, I remember thinking 'where are the colors indigo and violet?'" Schumer said during a Wednesday morning press conference, "unfortunately this is the type of pigment elitist, segregation that we have come to expect for the Bush administration."

Schumer went on to detail his plan to soften what he considers the harsh hues found in the Terror Alert system. Considering that the system was created shortly after the 9/11 attacks, Schumer claims that the color red, meaning the terrorist threat level is severe, was clearly meant as an insult to the Muslim world. And in a rare move for a Democrat, Schumer even offered a solution which calls for adding a little white in an attempt to mute the bold nature of the red color. Schumer called his plan "simple to implement and something occurs everyday across this great nation in elementary school art classes."

"It all comes downs to feelings. By having pink as our top terror alert level will show the world that the US will no longer be the international color bully of the world," Schumer concluded, "I would just hate to think, if we did nothing and kept our current system, that we might offend an Arab terrorist with our red color code right before he slams a plane into the Sears Tower. Frankly, I just couldn't live with that on my conscious."

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