Monday, February 27, 2006

The Michael Moore / Rube Goldberg Machine Stuck On The Spin Cycle

As if anyone needed more proof that Michael Moore is a plague on this country and dividing it further than George Bush could ever dream, his website is pushing an article calling into question the 2004 election results from Florida.

The "nonpartisan" group has stated, upon review of the electronic voting records of West Palm Beach precinct, that is possible as many as 10,000 votes might have been mis-recorded. Why is this important in 2006? Well, because if all the errors were people trying to vote for John Kerry then George Bush's victory in Florida would have only been by 371,000 votes. A statistical toss if you will...
"I actually think there's enough votes in play in Florida that it's anybody's guess who actually won the presidential race," Bev Harris, founder of added. "But with that said, there's no way to tell who the votes should have gone to."
In A Word was able to secure a follow up interview with Bev Harris, so we sent our distinguished field reporter, Common Sense, to Florida for an intimate conversation with the founder:

Common Sense: Thank you for taking time out of your day to speak with In A Word as we have some pretty basic questions we would like to ask you.

Bev Harris: I will be honest I only have a little time to speak as we are currently researching whether all the votes for Walter Mondale were properly recorded in 1984. It appears the landslide victory by Reagan may have been a lot closer than we previously thought.

Common Sense: Uh huh, however we are interested in your findings regarding the 2004 election. Simple math tells us that even if all 10,000 voting errors went to John Kerry, George Bush would have still carried the state by a significant margin.

Bev Harris: Yes, in theory you would be correct, but you aren't taking into account the "random corruption multiplier." The RCM states that any single instance of wrongdoing negatively affecting the Democratic party is equal to but not less than 37.1 additional votes for the losing Democrat candidate. For example: their are 10,000 votes in dispute. Now if you take the RCM (>37.1) X 10,000 = 371,000 additional votes for John Kerry. It is quite simple really.

Common Sense: Can you prove the RCM theorem for our readers?

Bev Harris: Yes, you conveniently take the winning vote margin and divide it by the disputed amount of votes and add 1. All in all, John Kerry was robbed of this election and simple math proves it. Besides the wingnutosphere of the Daily Kos and Michael Moore wouldn't let a little truth get in the way of their pandering to the stupid anyway, so the RCM can be very subjective and change to fit our agenda on a case by case basis.

Now, if you will excuse me I need to go check on our research into the election of George Washington, it appears that all the Presidential elections may have been built on a sham.

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