Tehran, Iran [CBB] - Iranian newspaper, Kayhan, is reporting that President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has abandoned his nuclear ambitions while choosing to pursue another sinister method of mass destruction: Fox News. After witnessing almost every Democratic Presidential candidate run scared from potential debates sponsored by the right leaning cable news station, Ahmadinejad realized that earth scarring, radiation contaminating effects of atomic fallout were nothing compared to the destruction of Bill O'Reilly and just one of his monologues.
"With a nightly line up of Hannity and Colmes, On The Record with Greta, and the O'Reilly Factor we can terrorize more Americans then if we released a dirty bomb in the middle of downtown Los Angeles," Ahmadinejad is quoted in Sunday's Kayhan, "By acquirng Fox News we can torture the infidel Americans on a nightly basis from 4PM to 8PM [please check your local listings].
Upon learning of Iran's acquisition of Fox News, Democratic leaders quickly changed their diplomatic stance. Gone were the pleas for international sanctions and open dialog only to be replaced by calls for war.
"We must remain on the offensive in the war on conservatism," Sen. Russ Feingold said during a taping of Anderson Cooper 360, "What's the good of having the world's most powerful military if we can't lob a few Tomahawk missiles and take out Geraldo while he talks with O'Reilly?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment