New Democratic Tape Warns Of Attacks 'Worse Than 9/11'...Oops...I Meant Hollywood Liberals...Damn it...I Mean Al Qaeda

The lines are getting blurry and rhetoric even more incoherent. Lately I have been having a hard time deciphering between Democratic campaign speeches, celebrity sound bites and new taped threats from Al Qaeda:

• This is not a call for negotiations.
• This war is lost and the surge is not accomplishing anything as indicated by the extreme violence in Iraq yesterday
• You may or may not be aware of it but today, nearly four years after you hastily declared victory in Iraq, and more than five and a half years after you fell into the Afghanistan trap, things aren’t going too well...in fact, things are going really bad.
• In other words, you’re losing on all fronts and losing big time.
• So stop wasting your time, and trying to save face with these futile maneuvers on Capitol Hill and start making some serious moves.
• I not only think that they (U.S. leaders) are misguided, but I think they know exactly what they are doing and I think that they are men who are possessed of evil.
• When I see an American flag flying, it's a joke.
• You can't beat your enemy anymore through wars; instead you create an entire generation of people revenge-seeking. These days it only matters who's in charge. Right now that's us -- for a while at least. Our opponents are going to resort to car bombs and suicide attacks because they have no other way to win. ...I believe he thinks this is a war that can be won, but there is no such thing anymore. We can't beat anyone anymore.

The game for you is too figure out who's the enemy and who's supposedly our fellow patriots. Good luck and no Googling.