I Believe Hillary

Yesterday an internal Hillary Clinton memo was leaked to the press suggesting that she skip the Iowa caucuses to focus on other primaries. Shortly after that revelation, the Clinton campaign strongly refuted the memo and said they were committed to winning Iowa.

“It’s not the opinion of the campaign,” Mrs. Clinton told Radio Iowa on
Wednesday, referring to the memorandum. “It’s not my opinion.”

That's not political, face saving spin...that's the truth. When a Clinton says something, you can bank on it. Honest and intergrity are the back bone of a Clinton. It's about trust people. Clinton's aren't the type to simply tell people what they want to hear. They don't read opinion polls and change their beliefs just to pander to some hick voters. Hell no.

When Hillary says she's committed to winning Iowa that's enough for me. Nothing in her past or even her husband's past would make me question her honesty.

Which Song Should Play While We Destroy Our Nation?

Remember how you used to like Fleetwood Mac until Bill Clinton prostituted their song "Don't Stop" as his campaign theme song? Well fear not, because Hillary has decided that she will also make you despise at least one more band before her campaign is over as she is asking for her own theme song.

The list of nominees:

• City of Blinding Lights - U2
• Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall
• I'm A Believer - Smash Mouth
• Get Ready - The Temptations
• Ready To Run - The Dixie Chicks
• Rock This Country - Shania Twain
• Beautiful Day - U2
• Right Here, Right Now - Jesus Jones
• I'll Take You There - The Stapler Singers

Luckily there is an opinion to submit your own song if you don't like the ones listed. I came up with a quick list of personal songs I think identify better with Hillary:

• Man Eater - Hall & Oats
• Smooth Criminal - Micheal Jackson
  
• Crazy Bitch - Buck Cherry
• Harvester Of Sorrow or Creeping Death - Metallica
• Loser - Beck
• I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred
• Le Freak - Chic

And then there's the one I submitted:

• Back In The U.S.S.R. - The Beatles

Now dear reader(s) it's your turn, the comment treads lines are open...

The Spin Cycle

When I first read this story I thought I was on the The Onion website, then I realized it was, in fact, an Associated Press article. In all fairness, it's pretty hard to tell the difference:

Clinton Says Her Southern Twang a Virtue

Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Rodham Clinton said Friday she sees her sometimes Southern accent as a virtue.

"I think America is ready for a multilingual president," Clinton said during a campaign stop at a charter school in Greenville, S.C.

The New York senator—who said she's been thinking about critics who've suggested that she tried to put on a fake Southern accent in Selma, Ala.—noted that she's split her life between Arkansas, Illinois and the East Coast.

And the punchline:

Clinton is a linguistic polyglot—a Chicago native turned New York resident who works in Washington and spent two decades living in Arkansas when her husband, Bill Clinton, was governor.

Linguistic polyglot? Is that a fancy way of saying she sounds like she has been smoking two packs Marlboro Lights a day while sitting in a trailer park watching Jeff Foxworthy videos?

Don't forget this is a real news story. The blogosphere attacks Hillary for being fake [an endless job, I know] and here comes the mainstream press to rescue her. Unbelievable. In my opinion, this is how the article should have been written:

Clinton Admits She's A Fool

After a couple of failed attempts to thaw her cold, hearted, bitch persona, Hillary Clinton announced she really botched her bogus, southern drawl.

"I was simply brown nosing the black southern voters and by doing so I thought must sound like I dropped out of school in the sixth grade," Clinton said, "however I do think America is ready for a multi fraudulent President."

Clinton is a fictitious, panderer - a Chicago native who married a man she believed would give her the greatest chance at power. She lived in Arkansas for many years broking shady land deals while allowing her husband, Bill Clinton, to sleep with everything that moved in exchange for his promise of supporting her in a future Presidential run. Masquerading as southerner isn't Clinton's only artificial facade as she has been pretending to be a New Yorker for six years now while serving as their Senator.

Hillarity

When I hear Hillary Clinton start to talk about cleaning up government abuses, it's hard not to laugh. I mean is she talking about her husband's presidency or Bush's? That whole "people in glass house shouldn't throw stones" thing...



And she didn't just mention the rug in the Oval Office did she? Seriously...did she forget what her husband did in there?

Possum On A Gum Bush

Just when you thought Hillary couldn't be any more fake...you were wrong y'all.

Impeachment Off The Table For Clinton Unless, Of Course, It Refers To Bush

Hillary Clinton proclaimed discussions about her husband's impeachment hearing officially 'off limits' during the campaign:

"In the end, voters will decide what's off-limits, but I can't imagine that the public will reward the politics of personal destruction," senior Clinton adviser Howard Wolfson said Friday, when asked whether the impeachment is fair game for Clinton's opponents.

When it comes to 'personal destruction' that's a job the Clintons would like retain for themselves.
Apparently it is fine to have Bill campaign for her, but American public is only to focus on all the great things he did. All three of those things. The Clinton campaign also reminds opponents and the press that the following items are also off limits: commenting on Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinski, Kathleen Willey, Troopergate, Vince Foster, Waterwater, 11 hour pardons, not capturing Bin Laden, and perjury.

In related news, Senator Kennedy announced the death of Mary Jo Kopechne 'off limits,' Sen. Byrd announced his involvement in the Klu Klux Klan 'off limits,' Rep. William Jefferson said there will be no further comment on bundles of cash stashed in the freezer, and Sen. Barack Obama said inquires into his complete lack of experience for the Presidency is absolutely off the table...

My Cup Runneth Over

First the Iowa elects its' stupidest governor. Ever.

Now Hillary Clinton announces she running for the White House. Of course it was a move that was inevitable since Bill stained Monica's dress and Hillary "stood by her man" while carpetbagging in New York. I am no doubt going to need a barf bag for this election, but it will be fun none the less...

Reprinted from Corn Beltway Boys

Her Parents Are So Proud

You know me, I'm the lazy man's blogger. If there's an easy joke, I don't pass it up. I live for the posts that write themselves. While I make fun of the cut and paste bloggers, I wish I had the attention span to do that all day, but I don't...oh, look at the bright shinny colors. However, yesterday the blogging world was grace with this little gem of a story:

If reports are true that Chelsea Clinton and her boyfriend Marc Mezvinsky are considering marriage, the father of the groom won't be able to attend the wedding until he is released from prison in November 2008.

Ed Mezvinsky, a former Democratic Congressman from Iowa, is serving a seven-year sentence for fraud after getting caught up in a series of Nigerian e-mail scams.

I do love how the story and the headline skirt around the the fact that Mezvinsky is a crook. "Former Congressman Duped by Nigerian Scams," unless you read the article you would almost think Mezvinsky was the victim. He was the "victim" up and until he decided to use the Nigerian e-mail scam on family and friends...then he became the leading Democratic candidate for President in '08.

Background similarities between these two families is undeniable. It really is no wonder Chelsea and Marc have fallen in love, the only thing I would be worried about is whether or not they might actually be distant cousins.

You can just imagine the holiday get together between the two families:

Bill: So Ed, good to see you again. Looks like prison treated you well.
Ed: Yeah it wasn't too bad, I actually ran into a couple of your friends. They say "hi."
Bill: I was talking with Chelsea and Marc, they seem to be ready to take over the family business. I figured I could teach them the shady land deals and...
Ed: ...and I can teach them internet scams.