Must Be That Time Of The Month Again...

Seems Aunite Blow has arrived just in time for Ramadan.

Ramadan is the blessed and holiest month for the religion of peace; with prayers, fasting, self-accountability and charity.

Well that, and taking a vest filled with explosives and killing innocent people...

I Was Once Like...You Know...Kinda Cool

I don't know when it happened, but it has become abundantly clear that I am no longer "cool." I am not saying I ever hung with the hip "in" crowd, but I used to have this "air" about me that radiated a certain cooliness. But, alas even that faint wisp of keen-o-neatness has apparently left me. Please observe my activities from last night:

• Went home from work and checked my blog traffic and inbox. I got more spam than hits and emails.
• Changed a poopy diaper and made words that I should have stopped saying 32 years ago to get my six month old son to smile his toothless grin at me.
• Watched Throwdown with Bobby Flay on the Food Channel.

I have succumbed to watching the culinary version of the WWF between two men trying to make the best clam cowder? For crying out loud man, they were trashing talking over a spatula! And the worst part? I am laughing and enjoying myself. Oh, the humanity...

Is this what my life must become...another Jaques?

God, why have you forsaken me?

Like A Junkie Who Can't Put Down The Crack Pipe

This past week has been a conservative blogger's cornucopia of Clinton sound bites; the horn of plenty just keeps blowing. During a speech in the United Kingdom, Clinton called for understanding:

AND in a damning indictment of George Bush and his quickness to identify enemies, he urged understanding even for someone as vilified as the holocaust-denier, Iranian President Ahmadinejad.

An understanding of Ahmadinejad? I am getting this weird feeling of Deja vu...where have I seen this type of "appeasement" before?

Clinton Still In Attack Mode

It amazes me what this guy will do for a few votes...

Brownie Break In

Having a severe case of the munchies, two people break into a Domino's Pizza store to steal their new "oven baked Brownie Squares." Of course, the Smoking Gun was there...

SEPTEMBER 26--Meet Alex Sawyer and Andrew Wilkins. The North Carolina couple was arrested earlier this month after an apparent case of the munchies led them to break into a Domino's Pizza branch and bake up a batch of the fast food chain's new brownies. The pair was nabbed at 5:30 AM on September 7 after a Stallings Police Department officer noticed a suspicious car--with keys in its ignition and a warm engine--parked outside a small strip mall. When Sawyer and Wilkins noticed police on the scene, they fled out the Domino's front door and were apprehended after a short chase, said Sergeant Mike Kane. Sawyer, a 21-year-old hair stylist, and Wilkins, a 20-year-old carpet cleaner, were arrested and later charged with breaking and entering and larceny, both felonies. Additionally (and not surprisingly), Sawyer was found carrying a marijuana pipe, for which she was hit with a misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia count. Kane told TSG that when he entered the Domino's, he discovered that the establishment's ovens were on and a box of brownies had been freshly baked. Investigators determined that Wilkins had previously worked at the Domino's and was fired for allegedly stealing a cash box. Kane said that Wilkins told him that he went to the closed store to return a set of keys and was not there to steal anything. Though Wilkins did acknowledge the pre-dawn baking: "I was just making food, I was hungry." Police recovered the brownies, valued at $5, and found no evidence that anything had been taken from the eatery. At the time of the duo's arrest, Kane had not yet had the opportunity to taste the Domino's Brownie Squares, which were added to the chain's menu in late-August. He subsequently tried out the dessert, which boasts a "warm, chocolaty center," and pronounced them "killer."

November Elections Mean Lower Gas Prices...

Gas in down to $1.80 a gallon in parts of Missouri.

However, in all fairness, the demand in Missouri is way down as most of their cars are raised up on concrete blocksand sitting in their front yards. I mean there really isn't a need for transportation when the government delivers your welfare check to your mailbox anyway. Besides you don't have to travel far to visit your family, chances are you sleep next to your cousin every night.

This Damn Bush Economy...

Stocks rise, Dow near record level.

Mark my words, the press will be pushing stories tomorrow about the housing market being soft, unemployment not being completely eradicated, and the consumer confidence index being too high so a market correction must be on the way. Or...or...I bet the federal deficit gets brought up too.

Huh, slam a few planes into our symbols of American capitalism and literally destroy certain parts of our the business sectors. But dang it if Americans don't strap it on tighter and work harder and take this economy to levels higher than the famed "Clinton economy."

Damn tax cuts away...

Saved By The Smell

Just when I think society can degrade no further, I am proven wrong...

Dustin Diamond [Screech, of Save By The Bell "fame"] reportedly has a new sex tape that is being shopped around for a distributor.

He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.

Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

Now I know what you are thinking: "Jordan, I agree that seeing Screech bang two women at the same time isn't exactly something I would care to see, but I am afraid I don't understand your attack on the American society and morals."

Well, dear reader(s) Dustin allegedly pulls off a maneuver called the "dirty Sanchez." Now I don't know about the rest of you, but I have been severely turned on before while having sex. However, I have never [NEVER] thought to myself during sex: "mmmhmm, this is good, but you know what would make it even better...what if I reached around and poked my finger way up my butt and pull out some poo...then I'll take that poo and make a fake moustache."

Call me an uptight conservative if you will, but I think I'll pass...wait that might have been the wrong word to use.

Give Me A Break Pt. IV - Just When You Think It's Over, Hillary Speaks

Not content with seeing her husband destroy any chance she had a Presidential run - a job she likes to keep all to herself, Hillary Clinton took to defending her husband's failed policy on terrorism.

"I think my husband did a great job in demonstrating that Democrats are not going to take these attacks," Hillary Clinton said. "I'm certain that if my husband and his national security team had been shown a classified report entitled 'Bin Laden Determined To Attack Inside the United States' he would have taken it more seriously than history suggests it was taken by our current president and his national security team."

Lets quickly review the terrorist attacks during the Clinton administration:

• 1993 World Trade Center bombing
• 1995 Saudi Araba bombing that killed military personnel
• 1996 al-Khobar towers bombing in Saudi Arabia killing 19 and injuring 200 military personnel
• 1998 bombing of US embassies in Africa killing 257 and injuring 5000
• 2000 bombing of the USS Cole killing 17 service men

While none of those terrorist actions elicited an response from her husband, President Clinton, Hillary would like us to believe if he received the same 'Bin Laden Determined To Attack Inside the United States' memo as Bush as would have done something.

A fucking memo would have got Clinton to act, but countless deaths wouldn't? Give me a break.

Of course, Hillary takes to the airwaves and found the closest microphone on the heels of Condoleezza Rice's counterattacks on her husband. The irony is that Rice tried to calm the rhetoric with this quote of ice cold honesty:

"When are we going to stop blaming ourselves for the rise of terrorism?"

Well, certainly not when it's an election year...

Give Me A Break Pt. III - Clinton Can't Run Fast Enough From The Truth

Michael Scheuer, former a chief on the Osama Bin Laden Unit at the Counter Terrorism Center from 1996-1999 during the Clinton administration had this to say about former President Clinton's eruption on Fox News this past Sunday [taken from an interview on CBS's Early Show with Harry Smith]:

Harry Smith: "Let's talk about what President Clinton had to say on Fox yesterday. He basically laid blame at the feet of the CIA and the FBI for not being able to certify or verify that Osama bin Laden was responsible for a number of different attacks. Does that ring true to you?"

Michael Scheuer: "No, sir, I don't think so. The president seems to be able, the former president seems to be able to deny facts with impugnity. Bin Laden is alive today because Mr. Clinton, Mr. Sandy Berger, and Mr. Richard Clarke refused to kill him. That's the bottom line. And every time he says what he said to Chris Wallace on Fox, he defames the CIA especially, and the men and women who risk their lives to give his administration repeated chances to kill bin Laden."

Harry Smith [watch as he changes the focus back to the Bush Administration]: "All right, is the Bush administration any less responsible for not finishing the job in Tora Bora?"

Michael Scheuer: "Oh, I think there's plenty of blame to go around, sir, but the fact of the matter is that the Bush Administration had one chance that they botched, and the Clinton Administration had eight to ten chances that they refused to try..."

"...But it's just, it's an incredible kind of situation for the American people over the weekend to hear their former president mislead them."

And finally Harry Smith ended the conversation with this statement, clearly frustrated that Scheuer was pissing on the Clinton legacy: "And, and, and with this also further revelation that, in fact, the war in Iraq has only exacerbated the terrorist situation."

Never mind that Smith's final statement dealt with a new report claiming the Iraq war has helped al-Qaeda recruit new members and had nothing to do with what Scheuer was talking about. But that not the point now is it...?

Harry Smith just wanted to leave the viewers with one more passing thought...it's Bush's fault.

Give Me A Break Pt. II - Further Thoughts

As I thought about former President Clinton's [pictured] assertion that President Bush should have done more in eight months to stop 9/11 than Clinton should have done in eight years, something dawned on me.
If catching Bin Laden and terrorism was such a huge priority to the Clinton administration, then why didn't Vice President Al Gore campaign on it?

History shows us Clinton's response to every terrorist attack during his term was pacifism [with the exception of a few missile lobed into Crapastan].

To me this illustrates why I love President Bush as a Commander in Chief over an opinion poll whore like President Clinton, because even though his policies are unpopular Bush sticks by them.

"Now if you want to criticize me for one thing, you can criticize me for this: after the Cole, I had battle plans drawn to go into Afghanistan, overthrow the Taliban and launch a full-scale attack search for bin Laden. But we needed basing rights in Uzbekistan -- which we got after 9/11" former President Clinton

No basing rights in Uzbekistan? That's all it took to stop Clinton from killing Bin Laden? He got to be joking right?

Oh and one more thing, Clinton tries to use former terrorist advisor, Richard Clarke's book Against All Enemies, as proof of the administrations tireless assault on Bin Laden. Let's just see what Mr. Clarke had to say about that [keeping in mind Clinton's assertion that the incoming administration was not as focused on Bin Laden as the Great Clinton]:

And in January 2001, the incoming Bush administration was briefed on the existing strategy. They were also briefed on these series of issues that had not been decided on in a couple of years.

And the third point is the Bush administration decided then, you know, in late January, to do two things. One, vigorously pursue the existing policy, including all of the lethal covert action findings, which we've now made public to some extent.

There was never a plan in the Clinton administration to use ground forces. The military was asked at a couple of points in the Clinton administration to think about it. Um, and they always came back and said it was not a good idea. There was never a plan to do that.

You can't hide from the truth.

Give Me A Break

Former President Clinton said:

"But at least I tried. That's the difference in me and some, including all of the right-wingers who are attacking me now...They had eight months to try, they did not try. I tried. So I tried and failed."

Lets see...

Bush had eight months to capture and stop Bin Laden and Clinton had eight years and a ton of terrorist attacks to provoke a response, yet he did nothing. Damn those "right-wingers" like ABC and the 9/11 Commission and their constant attacks to screw with Clinton's legacy. Why won't they just let him rewrite history?

Clinton went on to say "he did not have sexual relations with Bin...."

Oh, wait wrong excuse...my bad.

Arizona 9/11 Memorial [Sponsored By Moveon.org]

The Espresso Pundit has a great post outlining everything that is wrong about the new 9/11 memorial in Arizona that their Gov. Napolitano called "unique, bold, educational and unforgettable."

The memorial is a giant ring with words cut into the metal that when the sun shines on it at different angles projects those words on the ground below. What kind of honorable quotes are there to immortalize the bravery shown by those that died on 9/11?

07/01/02 Erroneous US air strike kills 46 Uruzgan civilians

06/03/02 Congress questions why CIA & FBI didn't prevent the attacks

Violent act leading US to war 05/07/1915, 12/07/1941, 08/04/1964, 09/11/2001

Espresso Pundit explains the 1964 date:

Then the last date dawned on me. My gosh, it's the attack in the Gulf of Tonkin in August of 1964. Why is that significant? Because it's the fictionalized event that Lyndon Johnson used as an excuse to trick Congress into supporting the Vietnam War. You know...just like this time.

The left is desperate to compare Iraq to Vietnam, but do they really want to trivialize 9/11 by comparing it to Tonkin? That's the implied message. Johnson was a liar; Vietnam was a quagmire. Bush...well, you fill in the rest.

The memorial is a permanent monument to the left's perceived failures of the Bush administration.

As the Espresso Pundit states so well: "Is this the way we want 9/11 remembered?"

Funny Because It's True

Usually I hate email forwards and I generally delete them out of habit, but for some reason I read one of them today. I am glad I did as it contained this joke:

A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once
Upon A Time?" He replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that
begin with 'If Elected I promise...'"

Nun Killed To Show Tolerance

To prove to the world how tolerant the religion of Islam is, a gunman shot and killed a nun in retaliation to a speech by Pope Benedict XVI.

Then Anjem Choudary, a one man walking Muslim freakshow, declared that the Pope must die for insulting the prophet Mohammad.

"The Muslims take their religion very seriously and non-Muslims must appreciate that and that must also understand that there may be serious consequences if you insult Islam and the prophet. Whoever insults the message of Mohammed is going to be subject to capital punishment."

Well that makes sense...

Wait, no it doesn't.

Oh yeah, and leaving Iraq will make all of this go away.

Wait, no it won't.

The Popenator

Pope Benedict XVI made a couple of passing remarks towards Islam and on cue the Muslim community is acting like he drew a cartoon picture of Mohammad. Without a doubt the biggest knee jerk reaction was from the Pakistani Foreign Ministry spokeswomen, Tasnim Aslam:

"Anyone who describes Islam as a religion as intolerant encourages violence," Tasnim Aslam said.

Just so you understand Aslam's statement: Islam is tolerant, so tolerant in fact that they are incited to violence by mere words in a speech. Flush a Koran down a toilet and people die. Draw a picture of Mohammad and people die.

Yes, death and violence truly define the word tolerance. And as everyone knows, Islam is all about tolerance...well at least the death and violence part.

Defiling the Most Holiest of Shrines

Curse you, John Kerry, curse you.

Is it not bad enough you invade my state while making campaign promises you don't intend to keep, but now you are going to tailgate during the Iowa/Iowa State game? For the love of all things holy, why? Why do you hate me so, Mr. Kerry?

Why must you interject politics into our annual football civil war? Is it too much to ask that I might be able to hate the Hawkeye fans while not having to deal with a failed Democratic Presidential candidate at the same time? I do not like mixing my football with my politics. Do I show up at your Harvard/Yale games?

Although I will admit kicking back a few beers while tailgating would make Kerry a little more palatable. I can only guess John is bring the ketchup for the brats...

Nintendo Wii Release Date

It seems I have roughly a little over two months to say goodbye to my wife and kids, as Nintendo's next home console, gaming system [Wii] hits stores on the November 19th. It has been about a year since I started blogging and if there is one area of my life that has suffered, it would be how much I have neglected my obsession to video games. However, to be honest it started to seem like every new games was merely a knock off of a better game I played in the past. Nintendo is at least trying to interject a new way to play video games with the Wii.

The controller for the Wii looks like a remote control for a TV. To manipulate the movement on the screen all you need to do is move the Wiimote around in the air. Want to swing a sword? Slash with the Wiimote. Want to fire a gun? Hold the Wiimote like a rifle and fire away. Want to strife while you shoot? Just slightly tilt the Wiimote to the side. Flip the Wiimote on its' side and you can use it like a steering wheel. You could fish with it. In fact, the possibilities at this point seem endless.

Here is a link to ign.com for some wicked game play videos. Here, here, here and here.

While the Wii is only a twice as powerful as Nintendo's current Gamecube, I have found graphics aren't everything. Oh, I am a graphics whore, but I need to be engaged and with the current state of video game, I can't say when the last time I wanted to play a game was.

So, I know you are asking yourself: where the hell is the political rant for the day? Sorry, guys I have to get the political stink off my hands for at least a few hours. I felt my sanity starting to drain away.

Enough!

WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT
While I usually try to follow a no cuss word rule on my blog, with the exception of an occasional outburst, today I am taking the filters off. If the words of a drunken sailor just returning to port after 6 months on the open seas offends you, skip this post. Also, please note this is not going to be a well thought out post, but this is my blog and I needed a release. This is off the cuff and raw [for me] take it for what it's worth...

I have fucking had it with the way the Democrats cry politics every time President Bush uses the member of 9/11 to justify his policies and decisions.

"This was a political move, designed to tap the overwhelming public sentiment to destroy al-Qaida as a way to bolster sagging public support for the war in Iraq." Harry Reid, Dumbass Senator from Nevada.

Well fuck Harry, God forbid we "tap the public sentiment to destroy al-Qaida." If I read Harry's comments correctly, am I to understand he believes Bush doesn't want to actually defeat al-Quaida, just use the images and ghosts of 9/11 to bolster some worthless public opinion polls that the Democratic party whores themselves to each day? Get a fucking clue. Jesus, the President says we need to destroy al-Qaida and the Democrats have a tizzy fit.

"There has been a complete absence of balance in the news coverage of national security issues," they wrote." Knob Nancy Pelosi in a letter sent out of media channels.

Hey Nancy, maybe if you had a plan that went a tad deeper than "pull out of Iraq by December" then maybe we could get some "balance."

"It is long past time for Republicans to be honest with American people and stop questioning the patriotism of those who recognize that the president's Iraq policy has not worked, is making us less safe and must be changed." Nancy Pelosi again

Less safe? Did I miss something in the last five years? Was there another terrorist attack on America soil that I missed? No? Then fucking prove it Nancy. Fucking prove we are less safe. Just because there are terrorist attacks in Iraq doesn't mean we are less safe here in America. Maybe Nancy could trot out the old "Arabs hate America even more now since we invaded Iraq." Hate us more than using airplanes as missiles to kill 3,000 people? Give me a fucking break.

"Rather than try to defend their own failed record, Republicans have resorted to the desperation politics of fear." wow Pelosi again, it seems she can spin this shit all day.

Ah, the old "politics of fear." Of course, it isn't fear when the Democrats say we "are less safe today." Nooooooo. Just so we are clear, when the Democrats start claiming Bush is politicizing 9/11 they are ironically doing the same thing.

And so concludes my rambling post for the day.

Until later let me add this one last comment to the Democratic party:

"Shut the fuck up." Just because the cameras are on and the microphones are live doesn't mean your pie hole has to be open and bashing the President. Think before you speak.

Of course, one should think before they blog too...

9/11 Never Forget

I am not the one to write a tribute for all the heroes from September 11th, because I don't hold the right words nor could I possibly express the right sentiment. But know this, I will never forget the brave men and women that fought back in the first battles of the war on terror.

United flight 93, is my example of American determination when we know what is on the line. The passengers on the other planes were merely doing what they thought would get them on the ground safety. However, when flight 93 found out the planes were being used as missiles, they rose up and fought back.

While the images of the World Trade Center towers falling are chilling and heartbreaking, imagine the psychological effect of seeing the White House or the US Capitol in flames? There are no shortage of heros from 9/11, but I choose to honor the passengers of United flight 93 on my blog today.

I only hope I could be as brave in the face of such danger. Your courage will never be forgotten. Never.

United flight 93 Crew:
Jason Dahl
Leroy Homer
Lorraine Bay
Sandra Bradshaw
Wanda Green
Cee Cee Lyles
Deborah Welsh

United flight 93 Passengers:
Christian Adams
Todd Beamer
Alan Beaven
Mark Bingham
Deora Bodley
Marion Britton
Thomas E. Burnett, Jr.
William Cashmen
Georgian Corrigan
Joseph Deluca
Patrick Discoll
Edward Felt
Colleen Fraser
Andrew Gracia
Jeremy Glick
Lauren Grandcolas
Donald F. Green
Laura Gronlund
Richard Guadagno
Toshiya Kuge
Waleska Martinez
Nicole Miller
Mark Rothenberg
Christine Snyder
John Talignani
Honor Wainio