What's My Line?

Lets play a little game of "He said what?!?" See if you can correctly guess the author of this quote:

This man said his life's mission has been this: "If not ending, at least slowing down the American Empire. At least injuring the beast. It's causing so much suffering around the world."

Unless you have been paying attention to the news lately concerning Osama Bin Laden's Book of Month Club, then you have probably have never heard of William Blum. He was referenced by Bin Laden as the must read author of "Rogue State."

"I think bin Laden shares that view [Blum's reasons why terrorist keep picking on America], and that is why I'm not repulsed by his embrace of my book, because that is one of my major themes," Blum said.

How could Blum be repulsed? I mean his book has jumped from 200,000 and something to 26 on Amazon.com order list. He just won the terrorist lottery. Bin Laden likes you, he really likes you. Congratulations.

Ask In A Word

Dear Ask In A Word (as taken from the comments section of the post -- Treachery: A Spiritual Journey To Manhood),

How dare you suggest that fellow Americans of a different political persuasion of your want to bring down the US! I am a registered Conservative and I know many Democrats who have srved with honor! But make exception for the Republicons in power who don't provide adequate body armor for our troops and a president who has lied about everything and let bin Laden get away, and has not done anything to control gas prices because he says he can't but Ford and Carter did! Nor does he protect our borders, because he wants cheap labor!

Todd

I am with you, Todd.

It is the Republicans who are depraved, crooked, amoral, incompetent, and treasonous to the ideals of this great country.The Bush Administration has just received Ds and Fs for its dismal handling of security measures. Our ports, bridges, tunnels, chemical and nuclear plants are woefully unprotected against terrorist attacks. Bush has let Bin Laden get away. Instead of focusing the vast resources given him by the taxpayer to get that monster and dismantle Al Qaeda, he embarked on a war with Iraq under false pretense. As someone who is a true conservative, as opposed to a right-wing radical, I am also appalled at the lack of fiscal responsibility of this government. And I am outraged at this government intrusion into our homes and lives

Devil's Adovcate [sic]

He will never be released because he witnessed torture and genocide perpetrated by American troops and operatives. He ain't getting out of anywhere.
Resisting the authoritarian impulses of the mouth breathing reactionary right gives life to the dream of seeing some Bircher-Klan types' heads explode. It's not like Reagan and Bush I weren't in bed with these same bad actors, selling them stinger missiles, trading arms for hostages and the timely release of same on inauguration night (quelle coincidence!). Rummy has even shook hands with Saddam, but I bet he doesn't answer his e-mails now, huh?
This is your government on drugs. And booze. And hubris

Boing!!!!!!!!

I will answer each writer in the order I received the comments...

Dear Todd,

Perhaps you misread my post, I was not saying that just because John Walker Lindh has a different political outlook than myself that he was "looking to bring down the US." I said I believe he is a traitor because he held arms against our troops and our country. There is freedom of speech and then there is actually traveling to another country and fighting alongside a terrorist regime "looking to bring down the US." If you are having a hard time with the word "treason," may I direct you here. You also said you were a registered "conservative." Yes, I know you are...you and every other liberal who troll conservative websites to post comments. I, on the other hand, am registered Republican. I don't believe I had the option of choosing liberal, neutral or conservative when I filled out my voter's registration card, but then you would know that too, if you are registered to vote.

Dear Devil's Advocate,

I realize in choosing an annonymous title like "Devil's Advocate" makes it sound that you are going to present some insightful counterpoint to my original post, but you don't. However, as with most liberals [oh, I am sorry you also claim to be conservative, my bad] these days, you get completely off topic. The post was about John Walker Lindh. It was not about Bush's grades on port security or even about letting Bin Laden get away. In fact, you even bring up the war in Iraq. What? I was talking about a single man and his transgressions against our country. This is pretty simple stuff here. My I refer you to the top of my blog. There, at the top, is a "search this blog" button. Find a post of mine relevant to your rant and comment there. Trust me it will make more sense.


Dear Boing!!!!!!!!!,

Mr. Kerry? Is that you, John?

I really hate to make fun of you Mr. Boing!!!!!!, because you waxed so eloquently on my blog:

"Resisting the authoritarian impulses of the mouth breathing reactionary right gives life to the dream of seeing some Bircher-Klan types' heads explode."

That was beautiful, man...please pass me a Kleenex.

Boom!


I would also like to take this moment to also thank the Dauo Report @ salon.com for listing In A Word on his site. These last few days have been educational to say the least. I appreciated the traffic and the discourse, however to be honest I just didn't expect to find so many Lindh supporters. Eh, you live you learn...

In A Word's Cordless Power Tool Of The Week:

Harry Belafonte.

"We've come to this dark time in which the new Gestapo of Homeland Security lurks here, where citizens are having their rights suspended," Belafonte said in a speech to the annual meeting of the Arts Presenters Members Conference in New York.

"You can be arrested and not charged. You can be arrested and have no right to counsel," said Belafonte.

Belafonte's remarks on Saturday _ part of a 45-minute speech on the role of the arts in a politically changing world _ were greeted with a roaring standing ovation from an audience which included singer Peter Yarrow of the folk group Peter, Paul and Mary, and members of the arts community from several dozen countries.

This would mark the second time in last few weeks Mr. Belafonte has made anti-Bush comments while traveling in an another country. Huh? You say New York is located in the United States? Oh, right it just seems like another country sometimes, especially when reading the NY Times. My bad...

I just hope no one tells Mr. Belafonte that the average American citizen doesn't even know who the hell Harry Belafonte is (and much less give a damn about what he has to say), because I personally like watching him make an ass of himself. It is just like a car accident, you just can't help but look.

Of course, for those of you that do actually remember who Harry Belafonte is, it begs the question: do you care what he has to say?

I thought not.

It Is Time For The Prodigal Son To Return Home

Fred Hoiberg, one of Iowa State University's all time greatest basketball players [hell, he was probably the best football player we had at the time too, he just didn't play], is considering returning to the NBA even with a pacemaker. The Mayor all most died last year when, at the last moment, they found he had an aneurysm in his aoritic root. It is a condition that would have been fatal if he had continued to play basketball for the Minnesota Timberwolves.

I know Fred is competitive, having watched practically all of his college games while he was a Cyclone. However, here's hoping common sense prevails. Fred has a wife and twin children. Basketball just isn't important when compared to family, especially not T'wolves basketball.

Besides it's long overdue and it's time for the Mayor to return to Ames and coach his beloved 'Clones. As far as the Cyclones already having a coach in Wayne Morgan...don't kid yourself...the moment Fred says he wants to come home is the same moment Morgan becomes the coach of the Ames High Little Cyclones. Of course, the shock of losing his job would take awhile to register with Morgan just like it takes half the game for him to read an opponent's offense or defense.

The View - Skewed

Once again celebrities like to prove over and over again they really shouldn't be allowed to think for themselves. The whole process of putting ideas together so they form a clear, concise and informed statements is really hard when you have been wallowing in liberal agendas and multi-million dollar contracts for too long.

The View co-host, Star Jones, is the latest in a string of celebrities to compare our President to mass murderer and world public enemy number one, Osama Bin Laden. Obviously, it is no longer required by etiquette to hold the office of the Presidency with respect. In today's world [at least according to celebrities] if you disagree ideologically you have every right to personally attack the sitting President. Of course, what the common sense challenged world of two-bit celebrities with a bloated sense of self importance, doesn't understand is that when you attack someone like President Bush you are also attacking someone like me. So, essentially you are attacking half of the US population. But, I digress...

Consider these asinine statements [my comments in brackets]:

"I won't trust him, but anything that gives me the opportunity to seek peace, I would at least check it out. [Just so we understand her, Star Jones would negotiate with terrorists. Yes, it would seem she really is that stupid]

"People make deals with the devil all the time. We make deals with people we don't like," she said. [For instance, Star's marriage...]

"You don't negotiate with terrorists," said Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the show's youngest host [Youngest and most intelligent].

"You don't negotiate," Jones interrupted, "but I do think you figure out when there is a solution that's diplomatic that doesn't result in [loss of] human life.

"What do we have to lose to check it out?" Star said.

"You know what?" she then added, "At some point, one of these men has to put it back in his pants and zip up the zipper at some point." [Riiiiight, Bush is merely in a pissing contest with a known terrorist. It isn't like Bin Laden killed thousands of people on 9/11 or anything]

"This isn't somebody whipping it out," shot co-host Meredith Vieira.

"You know what, I'm a little tired of posturing back and forth," Jones replied. [I am not entirely sure if she was speaking about Bush and Bin Laden or her cost hosts on the View...]

Star Jones should be fired. Period. Or at the very least issue an apology. However, if it is an apology it must contain the line: "I am a stupid celebrity who's wealth has blinded me to common sense."

NSA Wiretapping Gone Horribly Wrong Part II

If the following conversation between two unaware callers isn't proof the Bush administration has gone too far in its' wiretapping program, then frankly I don't know what it will take to convince some of you wingnuts that the President Bush is out of control.

[ring]

H. Clinton: Hello, Mrs. and Mr. Hillary Clinton's Residence.
Caller: Heyyyyy, baaaaabbyy
H. Clinton: Denzel is that you?
Caller: No, babe..it's me Al.
H. Clinton: Roker?
Caller: Roker? Hell, no it's me Al Sharpton.
H. Clinton: Oh, right. What is with the forced deep voice? Are you trying to channel Barry White again?
A. Sharpton: Well, actually I was kinda wondering if we could play plantation again, but this time I was hoping you could be the slave.
H. Clinton: This is a booty call? I think you have the wrong Clinton and I sure as hell don't ever play the slave.
A. Sharpton: Don't play me, especially after what we shared.
H. Clinton: I told you to never mention that again, I was clearly on the rebound after that whole Flowers thing. It nearly cost me the Presidency.
A. Sharpton: Come on baby, maybe I could "take you down to the chocolate city where the Al is..."
H. Clinton: Spare me the serenade and present me with one good reason why I should give you a Lewinsky?
A. Sharpton: I am your black knight who came riding to the rescue when you made that the raciss "plantation" remark, remember?
H. Clinton: Oh, haven't you heard? Barack Obama also come to my aid. And no offense Al, but it is better if I associate with him over you, if you know what I am saying. Politically speaking of course.
A. Sharpton: Oh, baby why you gots to be so col-

[click]

Treachery: A Spiritual Journey To Manhood

Surprise, surprise. It seems after spending some time in jail, the American Taliban and traitor, John Walker Lindh, would like President Bush to grant him clemency. To that end, his dad has taken to the airwaves and the media looking for support:

"In simple terms, this is the story of a decent and honorable young man embarked on a spiritual quest," said Frank Lindh, swallowing back tears at times during a speech at the Commonwealth Club, a nonprofit organization.

Ah, yes a "spiritual quest." What we have here is just another story of a confused teenager trying to "find himself." Yeah, he was fighting with our enemies, but really is it that much different than going off to college, drinking a ton of beer, smoking a little pot, trying to make it with a sorority chick, changing majors three times before deciding on liberal arts, and joining the campus branch of the young Democrats club? The fact that he took arms against our troops is no different then going to your first pro-abortion rally or attending an Iowa State Cyclone's game with "Huck the Fawkeyes" painted on your chest.

Little Johnny was just expressing himself. What's the harm in a little treachery? [huge doses of sarcasm implied]

Spare me the sob stories, Frank. Your son should hang. Some mistakes can't be undone with the "spiritual journey" defense. Next time try teaching your son to love his country, despite all of our flaws. It really is a great country, regardless of what the Democrats want you to believe. You didn't see me fighting against our troops in Crapistan during the Clinton administration. Why? Because no matter how whacked, stupid, and perverted I think the left has become, being an American is still a hell of a lot better than standing up and being counted with someone like Bin Laden.

Iowa Road Trip 1.20.2006

What were other Iowa Blogs talking about this week?

Hawkeye Republican - HOST A PARTY FOR BUSH'S STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS:

The GOP wants you to host a State Of The Union party, Laura W. has fun with the idea...

Well, I thought about doing this, but the balloon symmetry on the party collage put me off.And the fact that the GOP is offering a "GOP House Party Planning Packet." What does it have in it, Tom Delay Livestrong bracelets and coupons for non-alcoholic beer from your local Exxon station?

The Mind Of Irish Walsh - The Times is at it again...

Walsh and I both love a liberal portion of irony to go with our daily news. It is becoming a real bitch for the mainstream media; the truth seems to be getting in the way...a lot.

Walsh comments on the pictures that were removed from the NY Times website after it was revealed they were incorrectly labeled:

Once again the bloggers have to be America’’s watchdogs and babysit the media because it was a writer at American Thinker that exposed the fact that the picture shows not the remains of an American missile used to strike the homes but an unexploded artillery shell from way back before American Forces began targeting Taliban and Al Qaeda. Whoopsy!

How many times have you heard a mainstream media outlets attack a blogger's integrity and truth. I wonder if the Times has ever heard the saying: "Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones?"

The Mind Of Irish Walsh - "Assumption Assumption what's your function?"

In keeping with the theme of attacking the liberal media, Walsh decides to put the knife in a little deeper and twist. Here is some of the U2/Notre Dame lovin' Irishman's rants:

While we were waiting for DNA tests to be finished in the Pakistan missile strikes against Al-Qaeda the mainstream media told us at every opportunity that the airstrikes had failed. Apparently they are so far ahead of the information curve that they knew the results before the Department of Defense, amazing. /sarcasm

Of course we later learned the attacks were quite successful, so Walsh continues:

"I had to laugh at CBS's Bob Schiefer a few minute ago when he started out his newscast with "It appears last week's missile strike in Pakistan was successful afterall.

"Remember Bob, to assume you make an ass out of you and...er....well just you"

Oh, and Walsh may not be a Fighting Irish and "Zooropa" fan...I was just playing up the stereotype. I hear he does like Guinness and "The Quite Man" though.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

The New York Times has reported yet another cover up by the Clinton administration:

After the longest independent counsel investigation in history, the prosecutor in the case of former Housing Secretary Henry G. Cisneros is finally closing his operation with a scathing report accusing Clinton administration officials of thwarting an inquiry into whether Mr. Cisneros evaded paying income taxes.

Why is this important? Hell, if I know, but I do know this...it was Bush's fault.

Of course, when Hillary Clinton called the Bush administration "one of the worst" in history earlier this week, she obviously views the transgressions of her husband's administration the same way she viewed his infidelity--O.K. as long as it doesn't interfere with her ambitions.

Don't worry about Mr. Cisneros though...he was already pardoned by former President Clinton. Whew.

NSA Wiretapping Gone Horribly Wrong

In A Word has uncovered a disturbing phone conversation caught through the NSA's secret wiretappings. As much as I hate to admit this, if this is the type of calls the NSA is monitoring, then I am with the Democrats; the wire tappings need to stop!

[ring]

S. Alito: Hello, Alito residence.
Caller: Um...a hi-ya Sammy.
S. Alito: I am sorry, but who I am speaking with?
Caller: Um...come on Sammy don't play coy, it's me, Teddy.
S. Alito: Mr. Senat-
T. Kennedy: Now, now Sam we don't need to use the formalities such as Senator. We are much to close for that.
S. Alito: Uh, Mr. Kenne-
T. Kennedy: No, no, no. Call me Teddy...
S. Alito: O.K., Teddy, is there something I can help you with?
T. Kennedy: Well, I missed talking to you today. I...um...thought maybe we shared something special last week?
S. Alito: Whatever made you think we shared something special?
T.Kennedy: I kinda thought we were playing the hard to get game...
S. Alito: I assume you have been drinking?
T. Kennedy: Of course I have been drinking, but don't be mad at me. If it annoys you I will try and change.
S.Alito: Senator, I believe I should hang up the phone now and let you sleep off the gin induced affection you seem to be experiencing towards me.
T. Kennedy: No, please don't go, I promise to make sure our relationship doesn't get "weird."
S. Alito: ....
T. Kennedy: ....
T. Kennedy: It just got weird, didn't it?

[click]

When Politicians Try To Make Jokes...

In A Word Political Insider has made an impassioned plea to lawmakers to enact stiff laws in an attempt to curb the rampant epidemic of politicians trying to make jokes and puns. We simply can not allow our elected officials to continue their assault on all things that are funny.

Consider this quote from New York Rep. Gregory Meeks who on Wednesday defended Hillary Clinton and her asinine "plantation" quote.

"There was no race card played here. If any card was played here it was a joker, because that's who seems to be running the House right now if you look at the leadership," said Meeks, a black Democrat.

"If any card was played here is was a joker." Oh, stop...please...you're killing me.

"If any card was played...a joker;" boy howdy that is a hoot. Oh, wait he was being serious? Holy crap, now it is funny.

Sharpton Defends His Ho

Al Sharpton comes to the rescue of the egg-faced former first lady, Hillary Clinton and her stupid "plantation" quote:

"I absolutely defend her saying it because I said it all through the '04 elections," Sharpton told the New York Daily News on Tuesday.

"Any time you have a situation where, because of seniority and cloakroom politics, the bosses make the decisions - that's tatamount to [a] plantation," he insisted.

Well, I am certainly happy we got Al "the black racist" Sharpton's opinion, because I was on the edge of my seat wondering which side of the fence he was going to be on.

For further clarification, In A Word has issued this public service announcement: please understand neither Blacks or Democrats can be racist, only white, Republicans and their Uncle Tom friends.

**Oh yeah, and ten bucks says I get called a racist due to the "Ho" headline. I can see it now "youza raciss, In A Word, a raciss..."

Families Untied For Our Troops And Their Mission

Yesterday, buried on the second page in the Metro section of the Des Moines Register was a story about Iowa Families United For Our Troops. I bring this up for two reasons. The first of which is to shed some light on this great organization.

About Iowa Families United For Our Troops:

Families United for Our Troops and Their Mission is a not-for-profit 501(c)(4) organization. We are a grassroots coalition of Gold Star families, veterans, families with loved ones in harm's way, and Americans who share a deep appreciation for our men and women in uniform and support them in their efforts to make America safer by winning the War On Terror.

Collectively we will ensure that the sacrifices our courageous warriors have made are not in vain, and that the heroic soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines who have been charged with such a vital mission will be given the support they need to complete their mission. The members of our organization know well why these brave individuals choose to serve. We know that these humble Americans leave their homes and loved ones with the knowledge that they are making the world a safer place. And we know that these dedicated service members are committed, first and foremost, to seeing their mission through to completion.

Families United for Our Troops and Their Mission provides a means for our Gold Star Families, who have lost loved ones in the defense of our nation, to find solace in each other's company, and know that many others share their love, admiration and support for our armed forces. We want all the friends and families of our troops to know that we share their vision of finishing the incredibly vital task at hand and look forward to welcoming them home when the inevitable victory is achieved.

To our heroic military men and women, and their families, we offer a humble and especially sincere, "Thank You."

---

What We Believe

Families United for Our Troops and Their Mission has four basic principles. They are:

1. The United States was attacked. On September 11, 2001, our nation was victim to an unprovoked attack by al-Qaeda terrorists. This horrific assault was the capstone of a series of al-Qaeda terrorist attacks on our country: the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Towers, the 1998 bombing of our U.S. Embassies in Kenya and Tanzania, and the 2000 bombing of the USS Cole. Our President and government leaders were right to defend our nation by aggressively pursuing the terrorists who took refuge in Afghanistan and Iraq.
   
   
2. Our troops want to finish the job. Our all-volunteer Armed Services are comprised of brave men and women who believe in their mission, trust in their leadership, and strongly want to finish the job in Afghanistan and Iraq before leaving - and that means leaving behind self-governing democracies that can defend themselves.
   
   
3. Democracy abroad is necessary for our security at home. Democracy can and will work in the Middle East. Iraqis and Afghans want to govern themselves and their twin successes will serve as the keystone for a more democratic, more peaceful world.
   
   
4. We will not be safe until the terrorists are defeated. If we do not finish the job in Afghanistan and Iraq, terrorists will be strengthened and will eventually bring the fight to us here in the United States.

---

What We Do

Families United for Our Troops and Their Mission was founded by Major Chuck Larson in the summer of 2005 after his return from a year's service in Iraq. Families United for Our Troops and Their Mission helped organize 30 events across the country in fall 2005, with our marquee event on September 24 in Washington, DC with 45 Gold Star families participating. We continue to expand our team by reaching out to more Gold Star families, War on Terror veterans, Veteran Service Organizations, and community partners. Our goals:

1. Support the troops. Ensure that the troops will be given the support they need to complete their mission.

2. Act as a network. Provide a means through state chapter organizations and state and national events for our members to find solace in each other's company.

3. Promote our service members' good work. Actively work to get the good news out by participating in media interviews and writing guest opinions; joining others at events to highlight the accomplishments of our soldiers; and sponsoring advertisements to ensure that the public knows everything our military is doing to defend us and to help people abroad.

Although anyone can join Families United who believes in our four principles, our organization expressly seeks to recruit War on Terror veterans, Blue Star and Gold Star families, all Armed Service veterans and Veteran Service Organizations, and community leaders and organizations.

Make sure you also read their blog.

Alright, second reason for this post is to rip on the Des Moines Register. Why was United Families buried inside the second page of the Metro section of Des Moines Rag? Are you guessing there was too much pressing news on the front page to warrant a cover story? Here is a rundown of the grossly important news items of Tuesday, January 17, 2005 as compiled by the editors of the DSM Rag:

• Metal Thieves Hit Metro Construction Sites: Owww, a real page turner. Guess what? The price of metal is so high right now, thieves are taking to pulling the wires out of homes underconstruction just to harvest them for the copper. Scintillating.
• American Idol Mania: Hey, didja know Fox has this really popular show called "American Idol" and the Rag's numb-nut columnists Erin "the President still needs to apologize for the hinterlands remark" Crawford and Kyle "the best music CD of the year is some band that you have never heard of because I know more about music than you" Munson will be live blogging it. I nearly wet my pants inanticipation.
  
• And finally the news story "everyone is talking about," Taste, safety trump cutting sodium: This was the lead story of the day do to its' location in the upper right hand column of the front page. This news-editorial story is just another example of how the Register keeps earning its' title of "liberal rag" on a daily basis [by leading off everyday with opinion and not the facts]:

  Making food more healthful is a waste of time if people won't eat it.
  
  That's what the Bush administration essentially decided in scrapping a decade-old plan to tighten limits on the sodium content of foods labeled "healthy."

That right people, the Bush administration hates the American public so much they have resorted to poisoning the population with salt.

So we have come to my problem with the Rag: Cindy Sheehan is schizophrenic, media whore who runs around the country saying vile things about the President and war her son wanted to fight, but the second other Gold Star families want to make their voices heard in the media we regulate them to an afterthought on the second page of the Metro section.

Lets face it folks [according to the Des Moines Register], the story of United Families deserves to be next to articles about drug dealers and wife beaters, because these Gold Star families certainly have something wrong with them if they aren't bashing the President and his illegitimate war. I mean, come on, it was started by a Republican for crying out...

As Heard On The Playground Political Theater: "I Am Rubber, You're Glue, Whatever You Say Is..Um...Stupid (er...Something Like That)"

In the world of Daily Kos, two wrongs do make a right:

Apparently, the wingnutosphere has the vapors because Hillary used the word "plantation" to describe the GOP-led congress.

Too bad for them Google exists. Too bad for them Atrios and Aravosis used it:

If Hillary needs to apologize for using the word "plantation" to describe the GOP, I can't wait for the media to now demand apologies from:

• Townhall.com
  
• The National Review
  
• The Wall Street Journal
  
• Rush Limbaugh Show
  
• Newsmax
  
• The Washington Times
  
• Bob Novak

To summarize the Daily BS' argument, Hillary is not wrong for using the word plantation, because look, all these other people said it also. Nanny, nanny, boo-boo [sticks tongue out].

According to the Daily BS, a democrat can never make a mistake, because somewhere in the US a Republican is also making a mistake.

Hey, Kos I dare you to defend the Democrats and their transgressions on merit, instead of always whining about what the Republicans are doing.

I triple dog dare ya!

Blah, Blah, Blah, Bush Lied, Blah, Blah, Blah

Yesterday during an event honoring Maritn Luther King, Al Gore made this speech:

"Blah blah blah b-blah blah, blah b-blah blah blah blah. Bush lied blah blah blah blah blab. Blah blab b-b-blah blah blah blah worst President ever blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah broke the law blah blah blah blah."

And as if he had almost forgotten who the event was honoring after 15 minutes of Bush bashing, Gore added this:

"Blah, blah blah blah Dr. King once said perhaps a new spirit is rising among us blah blah blah Bush lied blah blah blah blah."

Of course, the speech fit perfectly into festivities of honoring Martin Luther King, Jr. However, I am not exactly sure how, but I am confident there was a correlation between how he suppose to be praising a great American and instead was critizing the President. Oh well, the Democrats will tell me what to think later today, I'll just wait for my opinion until then...

A Little Hypocrisy To Go With Your Breakfast This Morning

Ever wonder why Democrats can say or make racial slurs without political fallout? Why Democrats can have a Senator who was once a ranking Klu Klux Klan member, but a Republican gets in trouble for praising a retiring Senator who was once held a pro-segregation stance? Ever wonder why Martin Luther King day has gone from celebrating his amazing achievements in the area of civil rights for America, to a day where Democrats and black leaders rush to microphones to make speeches that further racially divide America?

The answer is hypocrisy, and it allowed to exist by average Americans everyday.

Yesterday New Orleans' bumbling mayor, Ray Nagin, made these comments:

"Surely He [God] doesn't approve of us being in Iraq under false pretenses."

And carpetbagger Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) followed later in the day with this gem:

"“When you look at the way the House of Representatives has been run, it has been run like a plantation and you know what I'm talking about..."

I would like to know how when Pat Robertson starts talking about the wrath of God, the left goes into a complete tizzy, however an incompetent Democrat mayor, from an embattle part of the nation, can make those type of remarks with little or no backlash? [And believe I am not defending Robertson, I am pointing out the inconsistencies]

I would also like to know how a liberal Senator, of a state she never lived in until she was elected to serve it, can make hateful comments that insinuate the Republican controlled House of Representatives is running the country like pre-Civil War era slave owning plantation?

What the fuck!

Hey, Democrats do Martin Luther King a favor next year, wait one friggin' day and then start in with your hate filled rhetoric. Next year could we please celebrate greatness that surrounded Rev. King, instead of using the day as a political theater to push your myopic agenda? Martin Luther King deserves a day of honor [truth be told, he deserves a lot more than a day], and he certainly deserves day void of Democrat hate filled sound bites.

Hell, even a white,racist Republican such as myself can see that...[sarcasm emphasized]

I Just Couldn't Leave Well Enough Alone...

In A Word recently reported that Senator Ted Kennedy [D-MA] was publishing a children's book entitled: "My Senator and Me: A Dog's-Eye View of Washington, D.C"

In an exclusive announcement by Kennedy's publisher, In A Word has learned of a companion book to be released alongside "My Senator and Me:"

"My Dead and Bloated Corpse and Me: A Bass'-Eye View of a Chappaquiddick Lake" by Mary Jo Kopechne. The protagonist in the book is a drunk bass fish named "Manslaughter."

I know, I know...I said "make your own jokes," but anyone that has been to this blog more than once knows I can't pass up an opportunity to make fun of Teddy.

Dirty Little Secret

I must confess I have been secretly reading the Daily Kos. I was hoping to learn about the positions on the left side of the political spectrum. The Daily Kos is a hugely popular web blog with millions of readers a month, so I figured there must be fairly intelligent discussions on the site. I don't necessarily admit my mistakes, however my take on the Daily Kos was way off.

The Daily Kos is a like an elementary school playground shouting match without all the cleaver wit. I have been scouring the posts from the main author, Markos Moulitsas Zúniga, for a sign of intelligence and have found nothing profound. I have, on the other hand, found pages and pages of childish prattle. Is this the best the left has to offer?

Consider this disconnected thought from the Daily Kos [in response to another blog by Andrew Sullivan]:

What idiots like Sullivan don't understand is that institutions like MoveOn and Daily Kos are a reaction to the Right Wing's tactics for the past 20 years. We are a reaction to the politics of personal destruction pioneered by the right's Clinton-hating brigades, the vile and corrosive rhetoric of Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, and company, and the politics of demonization which the Right practices against blacks, immigrants, and gays.

But when someone on the left fights back, it's the end of the fucking world.

I understand that it was easier for right-wing hacks to ply their trash when liberals unilaterally disarmed and took it with nary a peep. I understand they pine for those days when the best we could offer in rebuttal was Alan Colmes.

But they created the environment we now play in. They wanted a "culture war", an ideological fight, a partisan rumble in which only one side brought guns to the game. Those days are over.

They don't like it, they only have themselves to blame. Andrew Sullivan included.

Huh? So the Daily Kos is "a reaction to the politics of personal destruction" by the right? Hell, I am an institution created by Clinton. I was very much a Democrat in 1992 and even voted for Clinton [obviously a low point in my life...but college does weird things to people]. The main reason I am a conservative today is because of President Clinton. Demagogues like Markos Moulitsas Zúniga like to demonize President Bush, however the irony comes when they defend Clinton. If you want to win brownie points with the rest of the nation, try letting Clinton just twist on rope for awhile [figuratively speaking, of course] and stop defending him as a great President. Every post on Daily Kos is a bitch session, with no solutions to any of the problems facing the country. Yeah, I got it, Kos; the left is great at telling us what is wrong, who we should hate, why wiretapping terrorists is a bad idea, etc. Any solutions? [crickets chirping] I didn't think so...

Of course, that is what the Daily Kos exists for isn't it? It is an outlet of hate, masked in "political discourse." The Daily Kos can point and scream about the "politics of demonization" by the right, but the second that argument gets thrown back in their face, they start trying to justify their own hatred and demonizing. However, the joke is on the Daily Kos...he is no different then the people he hates. He just can't see it, because like a bigot, he is blind to his own warped views.

I Reject Your Reality And Substitute My Own...

Having fun at the expense of liberal blogs is always an entertaining diversion, so I figured why not quote a left leaning blog [and when I say "left leaning,"I mean leaning so far left he has toppled over] and see if their is any humor to be squeezed out.

DrewMiller.net has come to the rescue [such as it is] of Tom Harkin as it relates to the Abramoff scandal:

Guess what though - Harkin didn't take ANY money at all from Abramoff. Not a single Democrat did. Even so, Harkin is giving the money back.

Wow, Tom Harkin is such a great man, that even though he didn't take any money from Abramoff, he is "giving the money back." Ew, so sorry...I guess there was no humor in that quote. Just a sad, sad commentary on how the world works through the eyes of liberal.

Just so Mr. Drew Miller doesn't think I can't back up my sarcasm, here is a link from Capital Eye [the same site Drew uses in his to exonerate Harkin of any wrong doing] detailing some of the money Harkin never received, but is going to be giving back. Of course, we [Miller and I] were looking for two different things weren't we? However, in the end, the truth remains Harkin received money from Abramoff through his connections or his associates. Any argument to the contrary is just spin.

Iowa Road Trip 1.14.2006

Time for the lazy blogger's favorite type of post...steal quotes from other blogs and present them on my blog. It is a brainless activity that is right up my alley...

Mainstream Iowan: What Is The Abramoff Tom Harkin Connection.

The National Republican Senatorial Committee said Wednesday that 40 of 45 members of the Senate Democrat Caucus have taken money from lobbyist Jack Abramoff, his associates and Indian tribe clients.

Among those named by the NRSC as the worst examples of "Democrat hypocrisy" for taking money from Abramoff and his associates are: Sen. Byron Dorgan, (D-N.D.) who received at least $79,300; Sen. Tom Harkin (D-Iowa), who received at least $45,750;

Of course, what the Mainstream Iowan doesn't understand [sarcasm] is that is fine to take money from Abramoff [according to Democrat logic] as long as it is funneled through another source or comes directly from the parties Abramoff represents. The post on Mainstream Iowan also has nice list of other Democrats that have "taken" money from Abramoff.

Tusk & Talon: Blogger Bash

Last summer, we tasked Joe from the Roth CPA Tax Update with hosting the next blogger bash.

And Joe has come through. He's just announced the date, time, and location of the next blogger bash.

Date: Saturday, February 4, 2006
Location: Raccoon River Brewing Company in downtown Des Moines.
Time: Approximately 7:00 PM.

Be there or be square.

It would be fun to put a face to some of the blogs I frequent. However, I feel like I would be the illegitimate stepchild among people that actually know what they are doing. I am on the fence as to whether or not to attend.

Iowa Voice: Liberal Blogs Sayings Alito's Wife Faked Crying

Nothing is genuine to these people....except their "compassion" to the downtrodden, of course.

I wrote a piece about liberal blogs saying Alito's wife faked her crying during some down time at work. The irony is I had no way of knowing whether or not the liberal blogs were actually talking about Alito's wife or not [as I had no access to the internet]. Turns out I was right. The left is so sad and predictable. Someday I hope they share their knowledge on how to know what is "genuine" and what is fake when it comes to people's emotions. Oh wait, I think I got it figured out... it is real if the people are Democrats and fake if they are Republicans.

Irony

In a news item that proves that reality is pulling itself apart, Senator Ted Kennedy [shown with his girlfriend] has published a children's book entitled: "My Senator and Me: A Dog's-Eye View of Washington, D.C"

The protagonist in the story? Teddy's Portuguese Water Dog named Splash.

That's it people, I will leave you to fill in all the jokes. And believe me there are a lot of jokes to be made on this one...

In A Word's Cordless Power Tool Of The Week

Sean Penn [shown trying to bale out his career].

Actor Sean Penn added to the enthusiasm of the day by stressing that all of the nation's anti-war activism was taking hold and was starting to work a—while admitting that the stress of living under the current administration was making it tough for him to quit smoking. Stating that he "was not a pacifist on the inside", he was moved to be one on the outside for the sake of his children and grandchildren's future. He said we have to fight for everything we have.

I would like to add a few items to the list of things that have been Bush's fault: I tend to eat too much, I tend to spend money occasionally beyond my means, I left a bottle of Ketchup out overnight and had to throw it away, and I suck at FPS games like Call Of Duty 2 for the XBOX 360. Needless to say the end of the 2nd Bush term can't come soon enough for me. He is literally ruining my life.

Runner up to Sean Penn for In A Word's Cordless Power Tool Of The Week:

Jesse Jackson.

The "reverend" Jesse Jackson claimed Bush has been spying on him like the government spied on Martin Luther King.

Asked to respond to reports that U.S. citizens were being "spied" on by the White House the same way Dr. Martin Luther King was in the 1960s, Jackson said Monday: "Well, and so am I. We have gone from being lied to about the war to being spied on for protesting the war."
"This is an impeachable offense," Jackson declared. "And the Congress must not spare the integrity of our country in having hearings on just how much violence he did to the law in this act, this unauthorized unconstitutional act."

It goes without saying these were baseless attacks and Jackson had no proof to back it up. Of course, you already knew that...when was the last time Jesse worried about trifle little things like proof and truth? Also, ever notice how Jesse tries to throw out Martin Luther King at every chance he gets to try and bolster his integrity? Hey, Jesse just in case you were wondering; you're no Martin Luther King.

Perverted Justice

Say your are a Judge. Before you is a case of child molestation. The facts show that the 34 year old sex offender had a 4 years of sexual contact with the child starting when the child was only six years old. The case proceeds and the 34 year old male is convicted. What kind of punishment or sentence do you think this pervert needs?

Well according to Vermont judge, Edward Cashman, 60 days in the sex offender treatment program. What the fuck! However, it gets better. You see the dishonorable Cashman believed due to the 34 year old man's intelligence and the fact that omnipotent Vermont Corrections Department believes he is unlikely to commit another sexual offense, that treatment is a better course of action than punishment.

My question to Cashman is this...if you murder your wife in a fit of rage over infidelity, should you be sentenced to prison or anger management? I mean obviously you unlikely to kill again considering your wife can no longer cheat on you. Huh, yeah that does quite makes sense either.

In A Word's quick 30 day judicial correspondence course on sexual molestation crimes calls for a minimum of 4 years in jail to coincide with the four years of abuse. From that point, we start adding years for the age of the victim, the emotional trauma the victim must endure the rest of his/her life, and a general scumbag penalty just for the sheer fun of torturing him.

In A Word also believes in a progressive style of punishment. Over the course of the next 5-6 years we enroll the victim in an intense program which includes martial arts training. We teach him or her how to shoot a gun and gut a bear with a Bowie knife. We also throw in a nice strength building regime. Then, when the victim turns 18, we arm him or her with a gun and a really big knife and leave them alone in a room with the restrained pervert.

Then we wait...

If the victim decides to grant forgiveness on the scumbag then we can start the process of parole. However, if by some chance the victim has 15 bullet holes and is strung up from the rafters like some Hannibal Lecter work of art, then we merely dispose of the corpse and never speak of the incident again.

In A Word is fully aware this style of punishment may seem too lax, but rest assured it can be tweaked to achieve maximum pain and anguish.

Side Note: for further outrage on sexual predators please visit the Perverted Justice website. And just remember don't take your anger out on the computer monitor...it didn't do anything wrong.

In A Word: Served Sunny Side Up

In an ongoing struggle to eliminate some of the constant political rhetoric I post on In A Word, I thought (as placed in my head by Homercles:Space Monkey) we could play a little game of "Hey, Whatcha Doin'?"

It is quite simple and a blatant attempt to see what the readers of In A Word do when they aren't spending 1 1/2 minutes a day reading my blog. So, with out further ado...

In A Word's new, exciting, fast paced, game that "everyone is talking about"[causally stolen from Homercles: Space Monkey]:

Hey Whatcha Doin'?

Currently in my DVD player: Monk (Seasons 1 and 3)
Currently on the floorboards or front seat of my PT Cruiser: Third Day - "Wherever You Are"
Current book I am reading: Blog! By David Kline and Dan Burnstein
Current video game addiction: Mario Kart DS and the WiFi racing.

So, now it is your turn...Whatcha doin?

Leave your comments in the...um...comments section. Yeah, I know this a corny list type thing you might find on other froo-froo sites, but hey it is all in good fun.

The Alito Hearings Confirm One Thing So Far: Democrat Senators Are Still Stupid (Part II)

Today would be a good day to stand as far from Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA) [pictured] as possible as In A Word Political Insider has learned of potential lightening strikes from God. Hypocrisy is never far from Teddy's mouth and for those of us that love a little irony mixed in our daily political news, Ted delivers [over, and over, and over again]. It seems Mr. Involuntary Manslaughter himself was a member of an exclusive all male club while attending Harvard. The irony, of course, is his derogatory comments he directed at Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito concerning Alito's alleged involvement with all mens club while at Yale.

"No one can question Senator Kennedy's commitment to equality, justice and civil rights," said Laura Capps a Kennedy spokeswoman. "What he was part of was a social club, not a radical group pushing a radical agenda."

Did she just say no one can question Senator Kennedy on justice? You have got to be kidding me right? Don't you wish, as an average Joe prodding through life, you could rewrite history the way Senators like Ted Kennedy rewrite their past. They put everyone else's actions under a moral microscope, but the truth is they have so many skeletons in their own closets that they can't even close the door.

Spare me the political rhetoric Ms. Capps. Perhaps the drunken, blowhard should keep his mouth shut when it comes to commenting on morals and right and wrong. Don't you agree Mary Jo...

Mary Jo Kopechne: "gurgle...gurgle...gasp..."

I'll take that as a "yes."

The Alito Hearings Confirm One Thing So Far: Democrat Senators Are Still Stupid

Here is a quick quote to illustrate why Senators will always sound stupid when talking with Supreme Court judge nominees:

"We are not asking him to take a certain position. We are asking him to take a position. It'’s that simple. So far he has not," a frustrated Charles Schumer, a Democratic Senator from New York said after the hearings.

Hey genius, he is a judge. By definition he can't "take a position" until he has heard all the facts and evidence in a case.

Good ahead and grill him on cases he has presided over. I would find that as a logical step in an attempt to discern the true nature of Judge Alito. However, the moment Judge Alito starts giving you positions on cases he knows nothing about, will be the same time I start to question him as a nominee.

I know this is a tough concept for a Senator to understand, but judges are not politicians. Huh, I thought you would have learned that lesson when Judge Roberts made you guys silly during his confirmation process.

If I have learned anything during these last two confirmation hearings, it is that judges are a hell of a lot smarter the Senators. Consider this exchange between Alito and Ted Kennedy (D-Mass):

When pressed on his own views of the power of the President - Mr Alito wrote in 1985 that he believed "very strongly in the supremacy of the elected branches of government" - Mr Alito gave one of his only direct answers of the day, telling the Committee: "That's a very inapt phrase".

"Excuse me?" Said a clearly startled Edward Kennedy, a Democratic Senator from Massachusetts and one of the most outspoken critics of the Bush Administration and who had just awoken from a brief nap.

"It's an inapt phrase, and I certainly didn't mean that literally at the time, and I wouldn't say that today," said Mr Alito.

Don't tell me we need to keep a dictionary handy for Senator Kennedy. Is there something about the word "inapt" you don't understand? Clearly, there are statements or actions in your lifetime Mr. Kennedy would change if given the chance? You know, something you said or did in the past that doesn't truly represent the man you have grown into?

I am sure Mary Jo Kopechne could offer at least one mistake that fully embodies the meaning of the word "inapt" as it is applies to your actions.

Of course, maybe your actions concerning Mary Jo do truly represent the man you have grown into...

From The Democrat's Political Handbook, Page 54: "First Create A Sense Of Outrage, Worry About The Facts And Truths Later."

As the hysterical chatter begins to die down from the left, we are starting to see an intellectual discussion on the purpose and legality of the Bush administration approved NSA wiring tappings. The following quotes are taken from the Wall Street Journal's editorial outlining the truth behind the NSA wiretaps:

"Some of the loopier elements of the Democratic Party have even suggested the wiretaps are grounds for impeachment. But the more we learn about the practice, the clearer it is that the White House has been right to employ and defend it."

Just so I understand the normal and logical progression of things [according to the WSJ and conventional wisdom], it is more thoughtful to read, research, digest, and educate yourself on an issue than to jump in head first and run for the nearest microphone or liberal rag that will print your editorials. Makes sense. Use the old axiom of "engage your brain before you engage your mouth." Got it.

"No one would suggest the President must get a warrant to listen to terrorist communications on the battlefield in Iraq or Afghanistan. But what the critics are really insisting on here is that the President get a warrant the minute a terrorist communicates with an associate who may be inside in the U.S. That's a loophole only a terrorist could love."

That's a loophole that Democrats believe is vital to the sanctity of the constitution and civil liberties as granted by the Bill of Rights. Of course, it goes without saying we must first protect the nation, so we can continue to enjoy the freedoms applied to us through the Constitution. The Constitution quickly becomes a worthless piece of paper the moment it no longer has a country onto which it can apply its' laws. That and I am sure the founding fathers put our liberties before the liberties of terrorists. Of course, I can't say for certain...just a hunch.

"To the extent the President's critics are motivated by anything other than partisanship...Some critics have argued that the surveillance now at issue could have been conducted within the confines of FISA. But that doesn't appear to be true."

I must disagree with the Wall Street Journal, for a brief moment here. I would have reworded the previous quote a little differently. "The President's critics are always motivated by partisanship and have tired to justify their rhetoric by arguing that the surveillance now at issue could have been conducted with in the confines of FISA. But that doesn't appear to be true." It a subtle change, I know, but one that more accurately conveys the true intent of the Democrats.

"Other critics accept the President's inherent power but say he still should have asked Congress to approve the wiretaps. But some in Congress were informed of the wiretaps and did nothing to stop them...The way the Members have played politics with the Patriot Act is another reason not to give Congress a chance to micromanage war-fighting decisions."

Can I get an Amen, brothers and sisters? Trot out the selective outrage when it is most convenient. When the ranking Democrat on Senate intelligence, Jay Rockefeller, first found out about the wiretappings the US had just started a popular war. Clearly 2003 would not have right political climate to attack the President on such a grave issue as the destroying of civil liberties [emphasis on the sarcasm]. The better course, at least according to Democrats, is to wait for 2 years and see if the public opinion polls start to shift to the left. Brilliant. Democrats are so outraged by actions of the Bush administration that they do exactly nothing about the wiretappings until 2 full years later. Beautiful. Selective outrage at its' finest.

I strongly urge you to take the time to fully read the Wall Street Journal's entire editorial. I believe you will come away with a better understanding of what President Bush did and why he did it. Click away NOW!

[my hat's off to Protein Wisdom for the heads up on the WSJ editorial].

Credibility Lost

Billionaire George Soros [pictured] thinks there will be a recession in 2006. While, if he was speaking as the investor that amassed billions of dollars, one could conclude maybe he knew what he was talking about.

Unfortunately, his credibility has been completely ruined by his creation of Moveon.org. You can only wonder what his motives are now. More Bush bashing? Bush spends the last few days talking up the economy and then coincidently Soros starts talking about a recession. Hmmmm....

Of course this is the man that is credited with breaking the Bank Of England. You think he wouldn't try to do the same to Bush and the US economy just to prove a point? Ever wonder how many "average Joes" Soros has destroyed while getting into pissing matches with other billionaires?

From The Center For Studies On The Blatantly Obvious

As the left leaning media spoon feeds us information while claiming to be objective, let me direct you to a study by UCLA.

Some quotes from the article:

"I suspected that many media outlets would tilt to the left because surveys have shown that reporters tend to vote more Democrat than Republican," said Tim Groseclose, a UCLA political scientist and the study's lead author. "But I was surprised at just how pronounced the distinctions are."

"Overall, the major media outlets are quite moderate compared to members of Congress, but even so, there is a quantifiable and significant bias in that nearly all of them lean to the left," said co‑author Jeffrey Milyo, University of Missouri economist and public policy scholar.

Wondering who [according to the UCLA study] is most in touch with the average voter and is most moderate? Fox News' "Special Report With Brit Hume." Even I find myself more than a little shocked.

However, all that said, I mean media news sources lean left...come on...duh! Did we really need a study for that?

Here Is A Shock, Another Celebrity Spitting In The Face Of The US

Has-been singer, Harry Belafonte went to Venezuela on Sunday to praise their dictator, Hugo Chavez [spare me the President tag] and took the opportunity to call President Bush a "terrorist."

Just so you understand how things work, Mr. Belafonte, be grateful you are an American. It might come as a surprise to you that if you had made those same derogatory remarks towards Hugo Chavez as you did against Bush, believe me you would be the late Harry Belafonte.

For those keeping score at home: the number of anti-American comments said by brainless celebrities just nine days into 2006 is 1,753 and counting.

Republicans: Upbeat and Positive, Democrats: Gloom and Doom

The Bush administration spent the better part of Friday trying to allay fears that the country's economy is not headed in the wrong direction. Also, true to form the Democrats, spent the better part of Friday following the Bush administration officials around saying the country is headed straight to hell in a hand basket.

Of course, the Democrats had the media on their side:

In Chicago, Bush noted that Americans' per-capita after-tax income had grown 7% during his time in office - although he did not point out that median household income before taxes had fallen by about 4% [LA Times]

My reply: at least we had the tax cuts or American workers would really be in trouble right now. I am starting to wonder if Democrats and the mainstream media actually want the United States to prosper? Why do democrats and the media temper every bit of good news with bad news? Is the country not suppose celebrate any of our successes? No wonder Democrats are so bitter and pessimistic, they are waiting until we achieve a utopia-nirvana before they admit America just might be a good place to live.

More glass half full / half empty quotes:

"In 2005," the president said, "the American economy turned in a performance that is the envy of the industrialized world, and we did this in spite of higher oil prices and natural disasters. We're strong, and I'm optimistic about the future of this economy."

Public opinion polls indicate that a majority of Americans do not share the president's enthusiasm. [LA Times]

The only reason public opiniono polls don't indicate American's share the President's enthusiasm is because it is hard to be enthusiasticc when everytime you turn around the Democrats are telling you how much economy sucks.

It continues:

"The surprise," said Sung Won Sohn, president and chief executive of Hanmi Bank in Los Angeles, "has been the resilience the economy has shown despite the hurricanes, the jump in oil prices and higher interest rates." But he found some bearish signs in Friday's report, including a decline in the total number of hours worked and a shrinking share of industries hiring new workers. [LA Times]

There always has to be a "but." We certainly couldn't have left the analysis of the economy at merely "resilience...despite the hurricanes, the jump in oil prices and higher interest rates." Nah.

Manufacturing provided an uncustomary bright spot, posting its third straight month of job gains. Construction jobs fell, however, perhaps reflecting a colder-than-usual December after a warm November. [LA Times]

Manufacturing jobs "provided an uncustomary bright spot"juxtaposedd with "construction jobs fell, HOWEVER." Nice.

Oh, and remember the hard press by the Democrats on the minimum wage and how American's can't live on $5.15 an hours? Turns out [surprise] "The Labor Department found that average hourly earnings rose by 5 cents in December to $16.34, an annual rate of about 3.7%." So, American's [on average] are not really affected by the minimum wage. I am shocked, shocked, shocked!

The Los Angeles Time's article predictably ends on a sour note mentioning the consumer index falling. I wonder what the writers felt should be the lasting impression to the readers, the President's rosy outlook or the Democrat's gloom and doom? It is all about the spin, baby.

"Inconvenience Stores:" An In A Word One Act Play

The scene: run of the mill corner store with overly scanky women.

Queue me walking into my local convenience store. Watch as the convenience store employees completely ignore my presence and continue their conversation:

Girl Clerk: "Well, needless to say, he got what he wanted from me last night. I guess that is why I am a little worn out this afternoon. Not to mention he didn't say goodbye when he left in the morning."

Other Girl Clerk: "His is such a dog."

Me: "..."

Girl Clerk: "I should show you the bruises [finally noticing me]...oh, yeah your total is $4.45"

Exit me via the magazine rack trying to erase the cruel mental pictures that had just been burned into my mind.

Public Service Announcement Concerning The McKinney-Vento Homeless Education Assistance Act

I recently received information from our local school district on the Homeless Education Assistance Act addressing the rights and protections the homeless are granted under law. The irony? It came in the mail. When did it become logical to reach the homeless through the postal service? Now, if it was taped to the lamp post outside a liquor store I would understand...

"Brokeback Mountain:" An In A Word Review Of The Review Of "Brokeback Mountain"

My voyeurism into other people's sex lives only goes so far. In the case of the new movie, "Brokeback Mountain," the closest I will get to seeing it was Jeffery Bruner's review in Friday's Des Moines Register. And let me just say, even the review left me feeling a little dirty.

For a quick recap [for those of you living under a rock and unaware there is a new gay western], "Brokeback Mountain" is a film about cowboys that walk bow-legged, but it isn't from riding horses. This movie is the critic's darling. Every movie reviewer from Ebert to Maltin, have been falling over themselves to laud the greatness of man sex. However, for Jeffery Bruner is goes even deeper, consider these quotes:

"Lee's ability to transform Annie Proulx's short story into universal themes that render the issue of sexual preference moot is nothing short of remarkable."

"That's what makes "Brokeback Mountain" literary in a sense that this is a story told since Jane Austen and those before her. It just happens to involve two men."

Notice Bruner's use of the word, moot? According to Bruner this movie would still be the hot topic of conversation even without gay sex. Wrong. I haven't seen the movie and even I can tell this film exists to push the envelop of acceptability. In fact, I am sure Annie Proulx didn't just make the main characters cowboys just for the hell of it. She chose one of the most masculine professions for a reason.

Perhaps Bruner doesn't understand the meaning of the word, moot. Webster's definition of moot is to debate or discuss. However, I believe we can assume Bruner was using moot in the modern context of the word, meaning not important or irrelevant. So, after reading Bruner's review are we, the reader, to believe "Brokeback Mountain" is nothing more than a love story [and the fact that the lovers have two dicks has no bearing of on the plot]? I am to understand that the film doesn't discuss the fallout of the two men's actions on the characters around them? No. Even Bruner's own review of Brokeback Mountain tell us the film is about the cause and effect of fudge packin' on their lives.

The Bruner's review of "Brokeback Mountain" seems to fall victim to same the ideological catch-22 as homosexuality, it just doesn't make sense. Bruner can't even keep the over arching themes of "Brokeback Mountain" straight [pardon the pun] throughout out his review. Sometimes "Brokeback Mountain" is about gay relationships. Sometimes it is just a good old fashioned love story that could have been told by Jane Austen. However, no matter what the point of the film is, one thing is certain to Bruner, "Brokeback Mountain" is a great movie. Only the reason changes from paragraph to paragraph.

Before the flaming comments and emails start, let me say this: I believe life is short and as a whole sucks. Interacting daily with the drudge that is life [read: people, murder, child molestation, rape, lies, politicians, etc.], it is my belief you should do what makes you happy for the brief time you are on the is Earth. Obviously, that is preferenced by laws and the privacy of your own home. If want to put the stink on you man tool, so be it. Just don't throw it in my face and call it normal [editor note: the last sentence may have had an unintended double meaning, please disregard the sexual reference].

And I suppose that is my main complaint with "Brokeback Mountain" and its' reviews; the pressing need by the media and Hollywood to justify and make homosexuality acceptable and normal. Call me a bigot, if you will, but it will take more than a spaghetti western to make me believe nature intended for two men to have sex. I guess you can just chalk it up to being a conservative and closed minded, but not every deviance as to be society accepted. And deviance doesn't always have to win an Oscar.

Iowa Road Trip 1.06.2006

I did very little blogging this week, so I makes absolute sense that I would put an Iowa Road Trip post up on Friday. See, this kind of post allows me to send, you the reader, to blogs that said things this week that I was too blocked to write [perhaps "blocked is the wrong word?]. I will admit, sometimes it is a curse to be surrounded by great blogs. While I enjoy getting inspiration from their sites, I find myself constantly striving not to rehash what they have already said. So, that coupled with the fact I still have warm fuzzy feelings leftover from Christmas that are making my sarcasm and cynicism only operate on half strength, equals fewer posts this week.

Today's road trip will be quick and only cover two cites. Enjoy.

State 29. Sasha Kemmett Supports The Klu Klux Klan

While I usually support State 29's positions on most issues, I unfortunately take issue with their harsh criticism of a Des Moines Register's Young Adult Contributor.

"...what kind of a dipshit wants First Amendment rights for hate groups like the KKK?"

I agree, in theory, with State 29's belief that groups like the KKK should be silenced. However, I have a stronger belief in our Constitution. So, as much as I hate to admit this, I actually agree with Sasha Kemmett (from the liberal breeding ground of Ames no less) over State 29. As long as the KKK protests are free from violence, my stance [as supported by the Constitution] is that the KKK has as much right to protest as Cindy Sheehan.

State 29: "Powerball Winner In Iowa Was Bankrupt Bum"

State 29's assessment of the newest Powerball winner was nice and snarky; just the way I like my sarcasm served up.

"Enjoy your riches, asshole. You certainly don't deserve them. And you better pay your creditors back like you promised, ya bum."

Homercles: Space Monkey -- "Remember When I Used To Post On Weighty Matters That Affect Us All?

While this is simply a post to grant Homercles a reason to post a picture of Kristanna Loken on his blog, he added one of greatest taglines to the picture:

"If life were a John Hughes movie, she'd like totally go the prom with me."

To which I add:

You wouldn't know my prom date, she lives in the "Niagara Falls area..."

Molly Ivins Squeezes Out Another Thought, In A Word Is There To Flush It

To be honest, I am not sure why I haven't rambled on about Molly Ivins [pictured], a syndicated columnist, before now but as they say "better late than never." True to form, as soon as the Democratic party trots out a position [a rarity lately, I know], Mrs. Ivins is there to expound on the absolute greatness of it. The talking points given by the DNC change so subtly you often wonder if Ivins writes her own articles. As regular readers of In A Word know, I despise people that don't think for themselves and just regurgitate the opinion of others. Molly Ivins is no different.

Last week, Ivins wrote an article concerning that it an moral issue of fairness that we raise the minimum wage [she actually had the audacity to quote Ted Kennedy (D-MA) on fairness and morals]. You have to laugh when columnists and newspaper editors start talking about business. Mrs. Ivin's syndicated status as clearly gone to her head, because in her mind since she has a national audience, she must be an expert. Hell, just ask her a question, she knows the Democrat's response.

However, it is not her ignorance that pissed me off this time. It was her use of AFL-CIO quotes and statistics. AFL-CIO? Are you kidding me? You are going to use statistics from a myopic organization like the AFL-CIO to illustrate your [the DNC's] position? For the love of Pete [not that there would be anything wrong with loving a guy named Pete], give me a break.

AFL-CIO has gone from a vital and needed entity in the United States, to an union that does far more harm to members than it does good. Pick up any one of the papers that Molly Ivins appears in across the nation and you will surely fine a wonderful article about the AFL-CIO ruining some guy's life.

"O.K. Joe, here is the deal. You work 50 hours a week for $20 an hour to push that button. However, ACME industries has only given you health care, vacation, and a 401 K plan, but no other benefits. Frankly, you should be outraged. I know you dropped out of high school and aren't qualified to even butter bread at IHOP, but I really think we [and when I say we, I mean just you, as the union boss I still get paid] need to go on strike for a 50 cent raise. Oh, and Joe forget for the moment that for every week you miss work you will need to work about 55 weeks with the new 50 cent increased wage to make back the money you lost while on strike...."

I have one tinsy, tiny, iddy bitty, little thing to ask Molly Ivins, Ted Kennedy and the AFL-CIO. Before we start jumping on soap boxes expounding on the greatness of an increased minimum wage can we at least show some people out there that are actually working at minimum wage for 40 hours a week? Please, show me that these phantom people exist.

Nope, instead all we get from Molly is a little more fiction:

"Republicans keep saying increasing the minimum wage will hurt small business, for which there is no evidence, and cause people making the minimum wage to be laid off. But again, there is no evidence."

However, Molly there is also no proof to the contrary either. Just more theories that are the opposite of the Democrat's position. So, don't trot out the AFL-CIO as some beacon of the truth and light. Everyone that reads your columns knows you are a liberal hack, so don't try and put on the business guru hat, because you have no credibility in that area.

Just stick to what you do know..."When Clinton lied, no one died." Because as a small business owner, it really pisses me off when some narrow minded columnist starts making claims that raising the minimum wage "won't hurt the small business."

One last thing Molly, just because you have a syndicated column doesn't make you an expert on every problem facing our nation. If anything, your column only shows how ignorant and stupid you really are...

Environmental Fear Pandering

The Des Moines Register ran an editorial on Monday decrying the practice of putting old TVs into local landfills. You see inside every TV is a minute amount of mercury and lead. Which, when combined together, might create a little dab of mercury. Then tap water might be contaminated and little fishes die, all to be followed by general environmental chaos.

I've a little bit of free knowledge for the Des Moines Register staff: there is already mercury and lead in the soil. I know this is going to be hard to understand...but that is where mercury and lead come from.

It Was Just A Matter Of Time

To be completely honest, I am a little surprised this story's origins aren't centered in California. However, a news source out of India today confirms that Bollywood will be making a film that probes the mind of a suicide bomber.

Mahesh Bhatt's Suicide Bomber, to be set in Britain and India, will also seek to spread the message that Islam is a religion of peace, mercy and forgiveness, the leading director told Reuters on Wednesday.

"Muslims are demonized by the western nations especially after the so-called war on terror. The gulf between Muslims and the rest of the world is widening," Bhatt said.

"The film will be an attempt to clarify Islam is not demonic and to delve into the mind of a young suicide bomber to try to find out what drives him to reject life for a violent death." [Reuters 1.4.2006]

Shall I pick some of my favorite words from this article? Yes, I shall: peace, mercy, forgiveness, and not demonic. So, lets see if I have this straight...

In A Word presents an exclusive, world premere look at the taglines featured on the movie poster for the must see film of the year, "Suicide Bomber:"

"The main character shows so much mercy as he kills hundreds of people." -- Barbara Streisand

"The whole theme of forgiveness, while blowing up innocent people has moved me beyond words. I only wish King George had this much compassion" -- Billie Joe Armstrong [Green Day]

"Mercy plain a simple. The mercy granted by the suicide bomber to end the lives of infidels before they could finish their morning commute to their Islam hating jobs at places like Dunkin' Donuts nearly drove me to tears. Wake up, America! We are the real terrorists." -- Sandra Bernhard

Briefly...

As a creature of habit, one of the first things I do in the morning is check my email. Today, I was lucky enough to get an email with the tagline: "Ralph Nadar Swimming Pool Cindy Crawford in 1911 Day of the Dead Hold On..." sent from Freda Smallwood.

Of course, my first thought was I don't know any Fredas. However, I won't lie. I was slightly drawn to know what Ralph Nadar would be doing in a swimming pool with Cindy Crawford in 1911 on some mysterous "Day of the Dead." I tried to be strong and not read the email. Oh, God why couldn't I just send it the spam folder and delete it forever without seeing its' contents?

Freda Smallwood, why must you haunt me with your rambling, incoherant email subject lines? What could Freda be implying with the words "Hold On?" I had to know, so I opened the cursed spam. Of course, out of respect and caution for my loyal readers [all 8 1/2 of you], I shall shelter you from the contents of the email. Your welcome...

Liberal Media Bias, What Liberal Media Bias?

Today's New York Times' headline concerning the breaking news regarding the scandal surrounding lobbyist, Jack Abramoff, was this little gem:

"GOP Lobbyist Pleads Guilty In Deal With Prosecutors."

Clearly, the headline implies that Abramoff was a predominately Republican backer. Oh, but wait here are a list of some of his other "clients:"

Thomas A. Daschle (former D-S.D.)
Harry M. Reid (D-Nev.)
Richard A. Gephardt (D-Mo.)
Tom Harkin (D-IA)

Those are and were some very big names within the Democratic party. So, spare me the "GOP lobbyist"tag, there is plenty of blame to go around for both parties.

However, watch as the Democrats turns this scandal into a high profile campaign issue. Let the hypocrisy ensue.